


The Orphan

by communist_Wookie13 (multi_fandomshipper1967)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Some angst, damaged Keith, sad and lonely keith, talks of abuse and suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-10-12 20:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10499334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multi_fandomshipper1967/pseuds/communist_Wookie13
Summary: Finally out on his own, Keith decides it's best to start college on the other side of the country. When he's introduced to his new roommate, he gains four new friends in the process. He starts to realize what it feels like to have people to talk to but finds it's now harder to keep his secret past a secret. After an accident he almost breaks a relationship and crushes a friendship.





	1. First Day

Home. A place you go to when you feel lost. A place where you feel accepted and wanted. Where you felt safe and comfortable. Where you were your happiest and where your family was.

  
Family. People who shared the same blood and cared for you unconditionally. People who loved you no matter the flaws and always meant their ‘I love you’s. People who made you happy and made you feel loved.

  
Love. Keith never had any of that. A home, a family or love. He never felt happy. He never felt like he was cared for or wanted. He just felt like he was pushed around and forgotten.

  
He grew up in the foster system and never could really stay in one place. No family wanted him after a while and not all the time was it his fault. One family took him back because they couldn’t handle his consistent panic attacks. Another family had decided they weren’t ready.

  
He realized early that he was going to be alone forever and never became attached to anyone too much just because he didn’t want to get his hopes up.  
By the time he was 19, he decided it was just better if he always stayed alone. He was in college now and was no longer pushed between families. He liked this best. He didn’t have to feel unwanted anymore.

  
He was starting college late but he was happy that he was going at all. He had already tried to talk himself out of it but it was too late. There he was staring up at the dorm building, fear and anxiety gripping him intensely. He took a deep breath and started towards the door, his few things in a duffel bag in his hands. He gripped the key in his hand, it cut into his skin slightly but it was keeping him calm enough. He repeated the room number in his head like a mantra, fifth floor 5D. He decided on taking the stairs instead of the elevator, gave himself more time to think.

  
When he got to the fifth floor, he tensed up. People were walking around, talking to each other and it was loud. He just continued to his room, quietly and avoided all eye contact, he really hoped no one would try to talk to him.

  
His room was empty and he was happy. Even though he knew he would eventually have to deal with his roommate he was just glad he didn’t have to right now.  
He looked around the small room and was actually impressed. There was two beds pushed against opposite walls from each other. And two windows with desks in front of them were straight ahead at the foot of the beds. The room was symmetrical which kind of calmed Keith. To his right was a door that was his closet. The walls were bare and a nice shade of cream. The windows lit up the room more than the light on the ceiling and the view from them was of the river and woods that surrounded part of the forest. He could hear the birds chirping in the trees outside and the sounds of students talking amongst themselves.

  
He put his duffel down on the bed on the right and opened it up. He stared down at his stuff with a solemn expression. This was it, this was all he had. He grabbed the book off the top and looked it over, turning it gently in his hands. His favorite book and the only thing that he’d had since he could remember. A Wrinkle in Time. He’d read it almost a thousand times, it was the only thing that calm his anxieties. He’d never let something happen to it, he always kept it safe.

  
He stood there looking at it for a few moments until he heard the door open and dropped it in surprise.

  
Keith turned to see a tall boy who was carrying two bags in his hands and was followed by two older looking people who were obviously his parents. He had dropped his bags on the bed and turned to his parents. His mother was crying already.

  
“Mom, it’ll be fine, I’m going to be home in a couple of months and I promise I will call every night if I can. Please stop crying,” his voice was deep and calming. The woman hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead. She muttered something that Keith thought sounded like Japanese and then kissed him again.

  
“Please call, I’m going to miss you. I love you,” she said and then pulled away. The kid said it back and then hugged his dad.

  
When his parents finally left he looked over at Keith and smiled.

  
“Sorry, parents, you know?” his smile was bright and nice. He held out his hand. “Takashi Shirogane, you can call me Shiro though,”

  
He introduced himself so flawlessly, it made Keith uncomfortable but he took his hand anyway.

  
“Keith Kogane,” he answered back flashing a small smile. He turned back to his bag and started setting things on the bed around it.

  
“Sorry, again about my parents, they’re just really loving,” Shiro stated, unpacking his own bag. “Which is great but sometimes it can get a little embarrassing, you know,”

  
The truth, Keith didn’t know. He wished he had parents like that, that cried when he left them, that wanted him to call them everyday. He wished he had parents that cared and embarrassed him. But he didn’t want to tell Shiro that.

  
Instead he said nothing and began to put his clothes in his closet and his supplies in his desk. He tried to avoid eye contact with Shiro, he could feel the kid watching him and didn’t want to start the conversation he knew would come soon.

  
He started to focus too much on organizing that he jumped when there was a knock on the door. He turned to see Shiro answer the door. The door opened to two guys who Keith remembered seeing further down the hall. They seemed to know Shiro because when he opened the door one of them yelled.

  
“Hey, bro! How’s it going?” the one that yelled said. Keith had to admit the guy was attractive. He was tall and thin, with short brown hair and bright blue eyes.

  
Keith couldn’t help but stare at him for longer than deemed acceptable. His gaze was only broken because Shiro spoke.

  
“Hey, guys, I just got all my things moved in. Meet my roommate and friend, Keith,” He introduced him motioning at Keith slightly with his hand. Keith couldn’t help but frown for a minute then gave a little wave. He looked back down at the papers he was sorting.

  
‘Friend? We just met,’ he thought to himself. But he shook it off, deciding it was best not to put too much thought into this.

  
“We were thinking about going to look at the campus and find Pidge, wanna join?” the other kid asked. He was a bit bigger than the other one and about a few inches taller, he had soft brown eyes that shined beautifully in the light.

  
“Yeah, sounds great, I haven’t seen all of campus yet and would like to get my bearings before classes start,” Shiro answered with a smile. He turned to Keith and raised an eyebrow, “Would you like to join us?”

  
Keith was never the group friend type of person, hell he’d barely ever even had friends but something almost made him want to say yes but he was also worried because he knew he’d never fit in with this little group. He wanted to but he could already tell it wouldn’t work out.

  
“Umm..sure,” he answered finally and he wished he’d said no but no turning back now. But Shiro smiled like he was happy that he decided to go and that made Keith feel a bit better.

  
“Awesome, we do need to go to the food court because apparently Hunk is hungry,” blue eyes said looking sideways at who Keith assumed was Hunk.

  
“I get hungry, I haven’t eaten all day, it was a long drive from Montana,” Hunk shrugged casually. The other one laughed and turned around and started walking down the hallway, Hunk moving next to him and Shiro and Keith behind them.

  
“You eat all the time, Hunk, I know you brought snacks on your trip, don’t lie to me,” the guy joked.

  
“I brought a small bag but I didn’t have any actual food, Lance. All I’ve had was candy bar,” Hunk defended. From the way they treated each other it was like they’ve known each other for a while, like they were siblings. Keith wondered if they were, it would make sense. They kind of looked the same. Both of them had darker skin and kind of sounded the same even though Hunk’s voice was a bit deeper. He took a chance and asked Shiro.

  
“Are they brothers?” he asked quietly leaning over to Shiro, who chuckled at the question.

  
“No, they’re just very alike, it’s kind of weird. When I first met them it kind of caught me off guard cause I thought they were too,” He answered kindly, smiling a little.

  
Keith nodded in understanding and listened to the two boys bicker between themselves. When they left the building Keith noticed someone sitting in one of the benches. They had their head buried in a laptop typing away at something but turned when they heard the talking.

  
Closing the laptop quickly and putting it in a bag at their feet, they stood up and walked over to the group.

  
“Oh hey, Pidge, whatcha doin’?” Lance said smiling devilishly. Pidge stared at him and then moved their gaze to Shiro, who shrugged helplessly.

  
“I just got done decoding something, what are you guys doing?” they answered.

  
“Well, we’re off to check out the campus and get some food for Hunk, care to join?” Lance informed.

  
“I’ve already seen most of the campus, the new tech room they got is awesome and the library is huge, you’ll love it Hunk,” they answered brightly suddenly, then nodded at Keith saying, “Who’s this one? You guys pick him up somewhere? Did they kidnap you, blink twice if yes?”

  
“Ha ha, so funny, no he’s Shiro’s roommate, he came on his own free will. And we’re not going to hurt him, too bad,” Lance winked back at Keith, giving him goosebumps but he decided to ignore that.

  
“Ah, sweet, name’s Pidge. I’m studying to be a tech supporter but honestly, I’d love to work with NASA. You?”

  
Keith hadn’t ever thought about what he wanted to be, he just wanted to further his education but he never gave his end goal a thought.

  
“Keith and I’m just kind of figuring it out as I go,” he answered cautiously, hoping that didn’t come out as weirdly as it had sounded. But Pidge nodded and smiled, looking over at the rest of the group.

  
“I like him already,” they said which calmed Keith a little. “Alright, let’s go to the food court first, cause I’m hungry too and Hunk looks a bit pale,”

  
They started to lead the way and Hunk raced to walk next to them.

  
“So about this library?” he asked making Pidge laugh. Keith fell in behind them.

  
He felt kind of out of place. They all knew each other, obviously for an extended period of time because they all knew the little things about each other. He shouldn’t be here, he felt like he was invading something. He started to wonder if he should’ve just stayed in the dorm room and got everything set up for his classes. He had the rest of the day but he still felt like he just shouldn’t be here at all.

  
When they got to the food court, Shiro and Keith left to find a table while the other three went to get food. Keith tried not to look too uncomfortable but he just felt weird. When the other three came and sat down he tried to not eavesdrop too much and instead focused on the room around him.

  
It was big, one section was dedicated to different restaurants and then it transitioned into the sitting section where they were but further in was more of a lounge with a tv and couches and pool table. The whole place was covered in bright colors and it looked really clean. He was kind of surprised by the amount of students that were there, it was loud.  
“So, Keith,” Lance said suddenly, making Keith jump slightly and turn to him. He was staring at him intensely, how long had he been staring? “Tell me about yourself, where are you from?”

  
Keith struggled for a minute, really he was from nowhere but he figured that would be a suspicious answer and he didn’t want things to start out like that.

  
“Brooklyn,” he answered simply. It wasn’t a lie, he’d always considered Brooklyn his home but he’d been almost everywhere in and around the state of New York, so he really didn’t have one.

  
“Wow, you came from all the way there? How long did it take you to get here?” Lance asked raising an eyebrow.

  
“I was born there and lived there for half my life but when I enrolled here I just came from California,” that was true, he was in California briefly before he came to college, on a trip.

  
Lance nodded and ate a french fry slowly.

  
“How old are you? Cause you look about 20 but I’m gonna guess you’re not,” he asked around the food.

  
“I’m 19 actually,”

  
“No shit, and this is your first year here at Oregon State?”

  
“Yeah I took some college classes while in Cali, but I finally decided going to an actual university would help me more,”

  
‘And would help me have an actual place to call home,’ he thought to himself but he wasn’t going to tell them that.

  
“Finally ready to leave the family? I get that, same here,” Lance chuckled.

  
“Heh, yeah,” Keith played along.

  
“I’m from Nevada, I have a pretty big family and I understand needing to get away from them,” he explained.

  
“Yeah but no one has as many siblings as you, Lance,” Pidge pointed out nonchalantly.

  
“That’s true, I have six siblings, my parents just couldn’t get enough. Three boys and four girls, you can imagine how bad it is in the mornings,” Lance said rolling his eyes as if reliving some of the moments. Keith nodded in understanding even though he didn’t. Every foster family he’d gone to didn’t have a kid, well almost every family.

  
“Yeah so the minute I got my acceptance letter I was ready to leave, although I do kind of miss my mama,” Lance sighed.

  
“You probably missed her the minute she left your dorm room,” Pidge said into their food, getting a chuckle from both Shiro and Hunk.

  
“He did, he complained the whole time and even waved goodbye through the window,” Hunk informed them getting an upset squeak from Lance.

  
“What happens in the dorm, stays in the dorm, Hunk,” he muttered hitting Hunk lightly on the shoulder.

  
“Please, don’t say that it sounds gay,” Pidge muttered.

  
“Well, it’s true and I’m sorry you guys don’t seem to love your families as much as I do,” Lance huffed.

  
Keith suddenly felt even more uncomfortable, again he wasn’t apart of this friend group. He didn’t share the same joking insults they had with each other. He wasn’t one of them, he’d only known these people for roughly a half hour and he could already tell it wasn’t going to work out.

  
He wasn’t going to fit in with these people.

  
He’d been staring at the table and for a moment flicked his eyes up to see Lance scowling at him and quickly looked away. Lance didn’t say anything but Keith could feel his eyes on him.

  
Keith went in and out of the conversation the rest of the night. He tried not to talk too much though because he didn’t want to let too much slide. When they finally finished and went to go look around Lance stopped them at the doors.

  
“By the way, Nyma is on her way,” He said smirking. The group groaned and Lance feigned a look of hurt. “What? She wants to hang out with me, you guys should be happy that I found someone who loves me so much,”

  
“She doesn’t love you, she’s an ass to you, Idiot. Besides, you guys fight all the time when you hang out,” Pidge complained.

  
“Yeah but that just means we have an awesome make-out session after that,”

  
Shiro groaned again and Pidge rolled their eyes.

  
“Alright, whatever,” Pidge said obviously wanting the conversation to end, and turning to their phone. Hunk just looked sideways at Lance trying to convince him it was a bad idea. But Lance ignored it and switched his attention to a blonde girl that was walking towards them.

  
She was as tall as Lance and looked like she wasn’t supposed to be at a college but instead a business meeting.

  
She was wearing tight black jeans and very deep blue button down, her hair was pulled into a tight bun on her head and her heeled boots clacked loudly on the tiles as she walked towards them. She had horrible resting bitch face and Keith could feel himself starting to hate her.

  
And he felt bad because he’d always hung onto the whole don’t judge a book by it’s cover but then she spoke.

  
“Hey, guys, sorry I just got done with this huge meeting for my dad,” she had a very loud and demanding voice. One that just asked for all the attention. “I get to be a model for his company's new fashion line and omg I’m so excited,”

  
Keith knew her type and then he really did question why she was with Lance. She was out of his league and she seemed kind of stuck up.

  
“We were just about to go look around campus, wanna join?” Lance pushed but Nyma scrunched up her nose and shook her head.

  
“Not really,” she answered simply.

  
“But you said we’d hang out,” Lance complained.

  
“But these are new boots, Lance, I’m not going to get them dirty by walking around this place,” she looked around with a look of disdain. Like the whole campus grossed her out or something.

  
Lance looked a bit hurt but he shook it off.

  
“Alright, fine, I’m going guys. Gotta hang out with my girl,” he said waving at them. Keith couldn’t help but stare as they walked down the hallway.

  
“I can’t be the only one hoping they break up right?” Hunk asked looking around. Pidge gave a very quick nod and started down the other way, the other three falling in line.

  
“I hate to say it but yeah, I wish he would come to his senses about her,” Shiro said.

  
“Wow, you actually said something bad about someone else, amazing,” Pidge chuckled, looking over their shoulder at him. Shiro threw his head back and huffed a laugh.

  
“Does anyone even know where anything is? I mean I kind of remember from orientation but other than that I’m lost,” Hunk admitted while they started walking aimlessly around campus.

  
“I know where my classrooms are and where the food court and library is and that’s pretty much all I need to know. Do you know you’re schedule we could walk it so you get it?” Pidge offered and Hunk started rummaging through his pockets.

  
He pulled out a folded piece of paper and started unfolding carefully. He handed it to Pidge, who went through and immediately started pointing out classes they had together.

  
“I have tech and physics with you so I can meet you outside of the dorms and we can walk together. But the rest of these are pretty easy to find. Plus you have extensive history with Shiro and pretty much every other class is with Lance, who I’ll assume knows where everything is,” Pidge handed the paper back and get a scowl from Shiro.

  
“How do you know when and what my classes are?” he asked skeptical.

  
“I looked them up on the main school system, you know the one they act like is completely hack proof,” they answered casually.

  
Keith should say something now, because he didn’t know where his classes were or where anything really was.

  
“Umm, could you help me then? I don’t really know where anything is around here,” Keith asked quietly making all three of them look at him. He didn’t like it, he instantly regretted saying anything but he needed the help.

  
“Uh, yeah sure, do you have your schedule?” Pidge asked holding out a hand. Keith pulled the piece of paper out of his back pocket and gave it to them. He was surprised by the look on Pidge’s face when they read through the classes.

  
“You’re taking some advanced classes, what are you? Some super genius? Advanced chemistry and advanced physics, tech, linguistics, anatomy, and extensive history. You’re taking three science classes, I thought you didn’t know what you wanted to do?” Pidge asked with a raised eyebrow.

Keith shrugged, he’d always kind of considered himself smart but tried not to cause too much attention to that. He was taking hard classes so he could push himself, not because he wanted to seem smarter or flaunt it.

  
“I just, I’m kind of ah,” he couldn’t think of a sentence to explain it.

  
“I mean I understand why Shiro is taking these classes, he’s like way too smart for someone like himself but you didn’t come across as the extremely intelligent type of person,” Pidge replied smiling. Shiro hit them with his elbow and scowled at them “What? It’s true?”

  
“That’s rude, Pidge, you can’t just say stuff like that,” Shiro scolded making Pidge roll their eyes.

  
“No, it’s fine, like I get it, whenever people meet me they’re surprised by it but I’m actually pretty average, I just prefer pushing myself,” Keith explained quickly.

  
That was true, all the foster parents he’d had were always surprised by how much he actually knew but his explanation was, what else does a kid have to do when he has no family and no friends? Books fill the gaps and what happens when you get bored with picture books? You read some more advanced books. But he was right, he was of average intelligence, but he had a tendency to remember things better than most people so it made him seem smarter but he knew he wasn’t.

  
Pidge nodded and went back to looking at the schedule.

  
“Okay, well, you have a couple classes with Shiro and he knows where he’s going on this confusing campus. You have extensive history with Lance though, and linguistics. You can talk to him about that, I’m sure mister knows-everything can help you out. If he doesn’t, find me. And tech is with Hunk and I but anatomy and psych you have by yourself, we can quickly go and look for those classes in case you’re worried about being lost. And I have to show Hunk the new tech classroom and library, you’ll love it,” Pidge said handing the schedule back to Keith.

  
He felt a little better about college now and he felt like he could eventually actually have a nice friendship with this small group of weird and different people. Although he still remained careful, in case he said something about his past that he shouldn’t. He would just avoid talking about it, they would never have to know. That was until thanksgiving and christmas when they would question why exactly he had nowhere to go.

  
Until then, he won’t talk about it. Maybe he’ll eventually forget about it altogether.

  
They walked to Keith’s classes and he kind of remembered where they were, he at least could remember the general area which was better than nothing. But when Pidge and Hunk decided to go look at the tech room and library, Shiro and Keith both decided it was better to head back to the dorms.

  
They walked back in silence which made Keith calm down. He hadn’t noticed how tense he’d been this entire time and it felt better to relax while walking back. It was starting to get dark and the stars were coming out, not a lot but just enough. He loved the stars, he loved space, when he was little he always wanted to be an astronaut. He wanted to go explore the open and unknown places of the universe. He used to get books about the constellations, the planets, and black holes from the library when he was younger and he’d spend hours there flipping through reading everything he could about anything he could. As he got older, his love for space never changed but grew and that’s one of the things he so deeply wanted to do. He wanted to roam the stars.

  
When they got back to the dorm, he flopped on his bed and wanted to sleep but it didn’t come. He decided it was best to find something to read instead.

  
“I’m gonna go take a shower quickly, I’ll be right back,” Shiro said before he left the room.

  
Keith reached under his bed and grabbed a small book from the stack. He didn’t care what it was, he just wanted something to read. After a few minutes Shiro came back and the entire room started to smell like cherry blossoms. Keith loved it, it improved the room almost immediately.

  
He glanced over for a moment and was instantly surprised. Shiro was actually extremely attractive. He looked liked he’d been working out for most of his life, his tank top covered his muscular shoulders beautifully. He had a scar on his left bicep that left a window of curiosity. Keith couldn’t help staring at it, he knew he should probably look away before Shiro noticed but he couldn’t. It curved so well with the muscles and was paler against the already pale skin.

  
Keith blinked and quickly came out of the trance as Shiro turned around and sat on his bed.

  
“Sorry about my friends by the way. Especially Lance, he can be a handful,” Shiro gave small smile.

  
“He is different but that’s fine, they seem cool,” Keith assured him. Shiro nodded and leaned back onto his bed.

  
“You don’t have siblings do you?” Shiro asked suddenly and Keith panicked. Did he know? Did he know that Keith had no family and that he’d been lying?  
He couldn’t though, he thought, I haven’t done anything that would give that away.

  
“No, I was always an only child,” Keith answered truthfully. At least, he didn’t think he had siblings, he’s never met any part of his family.

  
“That makes sense,”

  
“How?” Keith looked over at Shiro’s face, he had a smirk on his face that told Keith he knew something.

  
“You looked uncomfortable almost the whole time. I’m gonna guess you’re never around a lot of people at one time? Only child, bad at making friends?” he asked and he’d hit the nail on the head.

  
“Uh, yeah, I’ve always been kind of antisocial,” Keith said truthfully and Shiro nodded.

  
It was like he understood and Keith guessed he did. He had noticed that sometimes Shiro would try to steer the conversation away from the topic of Keith all night and Keith was secretly grateful for that. He only guessed that at one point Shiro had been the same, some socially awkward kid who was forced to become friends with people and now had a group unique to its own.

  
“Yeah, I get that, we’re kind of a rambunctious group, well Hunk and Lance are. Pidge just likes to do borderline illegal things and I have to keep them from getting themselves killed. I feel like after a few weeks you’ll fit in better,” he said happily before getting under his covers and reaching to turn off his lamp.

  
“Night, Keith,” he said happily before turning towards the wall and falling asleep.

  
Keith closed his book, turned off his own lamp and laid on his back staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t tired but he wanted to sleep. All his life everyone he met has always rejected him as their friend. Normally, it was because parents didn’t want their kids to hang out with an unwanted child such as him. They always thought something was wrong with him, obviously his parents didn’t want him and there had to be a reason. He never really let it get to him, he had a tendency to shrug most things off. He tried not to let things get to him.

  
That didn’t mean nothing ever did, sometimes he’d feel especially lonely and felt like he was unwanted but he’d gotten better at ignoring things that hurt him the most.  
As he laid there staring up at the ceiling, feeling himself fall asleep, he could tell things were going to start getting better.

 

He was having the dream again, the one of the family. It was the family from Georgia again, the ones he was with for two weeks. He was 17 at this point and this was the first time he wished he could actually go back to the orphanage. He could still feel the burns on his arms and he could still hear the yelling. He remembered how everyone in the family would tell him how unwanted he was and he never understood how he came into this house. He remembered the last night he’d been in the house and he could feel the knife cutting him again.

  
He was jerked awake, shaking and sweating, or maybe crying. He was crying and breathing heavily. It was dark out but he could see the breaking of the sun on the horizon. Across the room he could hear Shiro snoring in his sleep.

  
He tasted something metallic and recognized it as blood, he’d bit his lip while he was dreaming. It must’ve been bad because it wasn’t stopping and it was starting to hurt.  
He got up and started for the bathroom down the hall, opening the door quietly as to not wake Shiro. He crept slowly down the hall to the bathrooms and slipped inside.  
Not only was he bleeding from the gash on his lip but he also had a bloody nose. Where that had come from, he had no idea. He grabbed some tissues and started cleaning himself up but the more he cleaned the more he bled.

  
He was in the middle of clearing the last of the blood off his lip when the door to the bathroom opened. He looked over to see who it was and was surprised to see Lance coming in. He was looking at his phone and almost didn’t notice Keith at the sink. Almost.

  
“Hey, man, what happened?” Lance asked looking up in concern. Keith tried to brush it off, it didn’t work.

  
“Nothing, I just got a bit of a bloody nose and bit my lip on accident,” Keith explained.

  
“That doesn’t look like a bit of a bloody nose, that looks like you got hit or something. You’re sure you’re okay?” Lance was referring to the blood soaked tissue paper in the trash and in Keith’s hand. Keith nodded and threw the tissue away. He turned to leave but Lance stopped him.

  
“You’re still bleeding a bit,” Lance said pointing at Keith’s lip. Keith cursed and licked at his lip, trying to clean off all of the blood. He didn’t notice how Lance was staring at him the whole time.

  
“Thanks,” Keith muttered before walking for the door. Lance nodded and watched him walk out.

  
Since he was already up, Keith decided he might as well get ready for the morning classes but he also tried to stay quiet enough to not wake Shiro.  
Around 8 Shiro woke up and he looked a little disoriented. His eyes were squinty and his hair was mess. He looked sleepily over at Keith at his desk.

  
“How long have you been awake?” Shiro whispered. “What time is it?”

  
“I’ve been up since about 5 maybe and it’s 8 right now,” Keith said casually not turning around.

  
“You woke up at 5?”

  
“Well, more like 6 because it was 5:50 ish but yeah, couldn’t sleep,” Keith explained, he glanced over at Shiro, who had a confused look on his face. It went away quickly and he rubbed at his eyes and sat up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

  
“I need to get ready, when’s your first class?” Shiro asked, his voice still groggy.

  
“Uh, ten, I think it’s Advanced Chemistry,” he heard Shiro groan and smiled to himself. “At least this is just a teacher/student meeting and we don’t even have to be there long,”  
Keith stood up and walked over to his closet to grab some clothes.

  
“That’s true, but I still have to get up early,” Shiro muttered making Keith smiled more.

  
Shiro yawned and stood up, stretching slightly. He turned to his closet, pulled out an outfit and started to undress. Keith looked away and closed his closet door.  
He left the dorm to go to the bathroom for privacy. He didn’t like getting undressed or dressed in front of people. It normally brought up conversations he didn’t want.  
He found a stall in the bathroom and got dressed quickly. When he was done he came out to brush his teeth then headed back to his dorm.

  
Shiro was dressed and looked a little more awake than he had when Keith had left.

  
“I need something to eat and coffee, that’ll help me wake up,” Shiro said rubbing his eyes with his palms.

  
“Yeah me too,” Keith agreed and was about to suggest going to the food court when there was a knock. He opened the door to a smiling Lance and an exhausted looking Hunk.  
“Headed to the food court, wondered if you guys wanted to join,” Lance said cheerfully.

  
“Lance, it’s like 9 in the morning, why are you so happy?” Shiro asked.

  
“It’s actually 8:36 exactly, but the question still stands,” Keith corrected, getting confused looks from the other three.

  
“I always get up around five or six in the mornings, I always have to look fresh,” Lance smirked making Hunk groan.

  
“Can we just go? I’m hungry my class starts at 9:30,” Hunk complained.

Lance nodded and turned to leave with Shiro following. Keith grabbed his jacket off his bed and followed a little bit after. Ahead of him Lance was telling a story about what he’d done the night before and when he caught up, Keith started to tune the story out. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear about it, he just couldn’t help getting lost in thought. Occasionally he would hear a snippet of the conversation and then he’d go back to thinking.

  
They got their food and sat down and the conversation continued, Keith tried to keep himself present to hear it.

  
“Whatever happened to that girl you liked Hunk? Did you get a number or what?” Lance asked taking a drink of his milk. Hunk was obviously uncomfortable about this conversation now that it was on him, he began to turn red.

  
“I did but for right now I’m just trying to be friends,” Hunk replied honestly making Lance laugh.

  
“Don’t do that, she’ll think you just want to be friends, forever. For you, I suggest you ask her out, not on a date specifically but just ask her to come here and eat or to the library and study. Kind of show her that you want to hang out and after a few hangouts ask for a date. I think she’d take it and let the romance bloom freely and happily,” Lance helped, Hunk nodded and agreed quietly.

  
“What about you, Shiro? You get that girl’s number from orientation?” Lance asked raising an eyebrow. Shiro’s face turned red and he looked away.

  
“Yeah I did, her name is Allura,” Shiro said smiling slightly. Lance chuckled lightly and nudged Shiro with his elbow.

  
“Looks like our little Shiro has a crush,” Lance joked and Keith couldn’t help but chuckle the red spreading on Shiro’s face.

  
“She did seem pretty nice, Shiro. Are you guys talking?” Hunk asked curiosity in his voice.

  
“No, we just have small conversations every once in awhile. We’re getting coffee this weekend though,” he answered blushing harder at the whoops from Lance, who seemed more energetic about this than Shiro.

  
“Man, I’m glad, she seemed perfect for you. She had a nice face and really pretty hair and such a soothing voice,” Lance said.

  
“Are you sure you don’t want to date her, Lance?” Keith muttered laughing to himself. He didn’t realize it was still loud enough for the others to hear because they stood there staring at him. He stopped and tried to find a way to explain what he said but then Hunk and Shiro started laughing and he let out a sigh of relief.

  
“Okay, okay, I see how it is. What about your love life, Keith? Do you have a girl you have your eyes on?” Lance said and Keith started to get uncomfortable.

  
He’d never had a relationship because he’d always been so against looking for one. But that necessarily mean he’d never been with anyone. When he’d finally got a place for himself at 18 he’d had a few one night stands and his first kiss was at the age of 16. He knew what he liked and he knew that he didn’t like girls. He’d realized that early on but he never wanted to really think about it, after all almost all of his foster parents had been religious so at a really young age he thought something was wrong with him. When he realized that he was gay he thought something was still wrong so that equaled to a lot of uncomfortable one night stands that probably could’ve gone somewhere. It was never unheard of for him to have girls say that they liked him and he’d been asked out on multiple occasions he just didn’t believe in relationships.  
For him it was better that he didn’t start anything too permanent.

  
“Ah, no I do not,” he answered simply after a few moments. They all three frowned and continued walking.

  
“Do you already have someone?” Hunk questioned curiously. Keith shook his head and they went quiet again.

  
“Have you had a relationship before?” Lance asked and again Keith shook his head which made Lance gasp dramatically. “You haven’t? How old are you and you haven’t had an actual relationship? You’ve never liked someone enough to even try for one? Why-”

  
He was cut off by Pidge walking up. They looked tired and worn out but still smiled lightly when they walked up to the group.

  
“Hey, guys, what’s up?” they asked yawning. Lance spun around quickly to look at them.

  
“Keith has never had a relationship, not once,” Lance yelled making Keith sigh. He realized he shouldn’t have said anything but it was too late. Pidge seemed unfazed by this information.

  
“So? Are we keeping track now?” they replied.

  
“No but who is 19 and still hasn’t had at least one small relationship? Have you ever liked anyone?” Lance continued.

  
They’d made it to the food court and Keith got himself a cup of coffee and followed Shiro to a table. Once he sat down and Lance sat across from him, he looked up and explained.

  
“No, I haven’t, because I’ve never wanted one?” he answered truthfully at least but still Lance continued.

  
“What have you done? Like if you haven’t had a relationship have you done other things?”

  
“Lance,” Shiro warned giving him a sideways look.

  
“It’s fine. Yes, Lance, I have. The only thing that I haven’t had is a real relationship and again that’s because I don’t want one,”

  
“Can you clarify what you have done though?” Hunk asked suddenly. Keith didn’t care at this point, he was too tired to realize he should just stop. But Shiro wasn’t.

  
“Hunk, don’t start getting into it too,” he tried but still Keith went on.

  
“Well, I’ve kissed people and I’m particularly good with one night stands,” Keith replied taking a sip of his drink. It burned his throat when it went down.

  
“Really? You? You don’t seem like that kind of guy,” Pidge stated and Keith smirked slightly.

  
“Do I come off as a too nice of a guy or too clingy?” he joked.

  
“I’d say too nice but I don’t want to offend,”

  
“No offense taken, I get it a lot,”

  
They all jumped when Lance slammed his fist on the table. Shiro almost spilt his coffee.

  
“I know what you are. I could feel it from the moment I met you. There’s a reason you don’t want a relationship,” Lance started, Keith raising an eyebrow egging him on. Hunk and Pidge sighed, apparently they knew what was coming.

  
“You’re gay and it’s illegal for you to have anything further than just boyfriend/boyfriend so you don’t get mixed up in one. You like guys,” Lance said almost accusingly.

  
“You can’t just assume everyone is gay, Lance. And if Keith is then it’s obvious he didn’t want to tell us so you shouldn’t ask until he says something,” Shiro scolded.

Keith stared blank eyed at Lance. He didn’t want to lie and say that he wasn’t but he also didn’t know how they would all take it. He’d never really told anyone, he’d only told one person and they reacted so horribly he’d told himself he’d never tell anyone ever again. He didn’t want that to happen again, he liked these people. But he had asked him and apparently he asked a lot of people so maybe it would be okay?

  
“Yeah, I am actually, but you’re not correct as to why I’ve never been in one. I just don’t like relationships,” Keith said suddenly. They all kind of looked surprised at first and Keith could hear the sirens.

  
‘Shit, they aren’t okay with it, now you have the choice to act like you were joking or to run before they start yelling. Why did you think this was a good idea, now you’ve got to start looking for another room and roommate,’

  
“No, shit, Lance you were right for once,” Pidge broke the silence and looked over at Lance’s stunned face.

  
“Like for real gay? Like you’ve tried it and liked it or?” Hunk asked and Keith debated answering.

  
He had and he hadn’t, he didn’t want to talk about it honestly and thankfully Shiro saved him.

  
“Well, then look at the time. Keith and I should be heading for our advanced chem class, it starts in an hour and it’s clear across campus. Right, Keith?” Shiro asked and Keith looked over at him, seeing that he was giving him an out he nodded and stood up.

  
“It was good to see you guys this morning but we have to go,” Shiro finished and then started walking away with Keith behind him.

  
Keith had to jog to catch up with Shiro and he worried he’d said something wrong but he didn’t know what it was.They walked in calm silence for a while and Keith looked around at the woods that surrounded part of the college.

  
“I’m sorry about Lance, he doesn’t know really when to stop,” Shiro said suddenly scaring Keith from his thoughts.

  
“It’s fine, he didn’t ask anything that was really that bad, none of them did,” Keith assured him then continued looking at the woods.

  
“I just didn’t want you getting uncomfortable. You seem like a cool enough guy and I don’t want him and his questions to scare you off,”

  
“Trust me, I’ve been asked worse things,” Keith muttered looking over and giving a sideways smile. That was true, plus even if he hadn’t he still wasn’t easily scared off and he liked the group of people he met yesterday. He liked that in the span of just 24 hours they’d become the closest thing to friends he’s had.

  
They went quiet for a few more minutes and Keith could tell they were nearing their destination.

  
“I will admit, I am surprised,” Shiro spoke quietly making Keith look over in confusion.

  
“About what?”

  
“That you’re gay and that you’re so open about it. I mean open enough to like just come out and say you are and I’m not saying that because that’s a bad thing. You just don’t look like the type of person that tells all,”

  
“I just thought I might as well answer truthfully just in case if anyone has an issue, they won’t find out under bad circumstances,” Keith shrugged, Shiro nodded in understanding and they were quiet again until they got to the classroom.

  
Keith had forgotten how boring school could get and it wasn’t even an actual class. For the first ten minutes the teacher talked about her background and then they were made to introduce themselves and the rest of the half hour class they talked. Keith wished he could go back to bed. Shiro and him mostly just talked to each other but once in awhile another student would come in and chat for a few minutes then move on.

  
When the class was over Keith said bye to Shiro and walked to his anatomy class alone. He was surprised that he remembered where it was. And he got there a few minutes ahead of time and waited outside the classroom quietly.

  
After a few minutes a girl walked down the hall towards him. She seemed nice, she had a dark olive skin and her pink pastel hair in a bun on her head. She was really pretty and stopped to stand next to him against the wall. She looked over at him and gave him a small smile before turning to her phone. Keith felt his heart skip, he might not like girls but damn she made him happy just by looking at him.

  
He wanted to talk to her but he suddenly realized he’d never actually started a conversation with anyone and he was too awkward to start now. So instead he decided to just look out the window in front of him and say nothing.

  
Soon other students started arriving and the door opened to let them in. Naturally, Keith went for a seat in the back.  
The room was set up with six tables in rows of three, two students to a table. Keith picked the way furthest away from the door so he could look out the window and to the back so it was less likely someone would sit with him. Soon the seats started filling up and people started talking amongst themselves. Some were introducing themselves and some were talking about their other classes.

  
Keith let his mind wander and looked out the window across what looked like a small bit of woods. He was startled slightly at a small tap on the shoulder, he jumped and whipped his head around to look at who it was.

  
It was the girl from the hallway, she looked slightly frightened by Keith’s reaction but when he quickly relaxed, she did too.  
“Can I sit with you?” she asked, she had an accent but it wasn’t thick.

  
Keith nodded and moved his stool over so she could sit down. He returned to looking out the window and started to drift off.

  
Soon the teacher came in and Keith shifted his attention to the front. The teacher gave her introduction and then again let them talk amongst themselves. The class erupted into conversations just like before and Keith went back to looking out the window.

  
He started thinking about his dream again and got chills.

  
“Hey, are you okay? You’re shaking?” the girl next to him asked. Keith looked over at her and she looked genuinely worried. He relaxed and leaned back a little.  
“Sorry, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking about something,” he answered quietly.

  
“Must’ve been something bad. You don’t have to tell me, it was an observation,” she smiled, making Keith want to smile back. “I’m Allura by the way, I forgot to introduce myself earlier, sorry,”

  
“Keith, and you’re fine,” he chuckled a bit.

  
“It’s nice to meet you, Keith. I’m sorry if this is rude but you seemed very wary about talking to me before? Was there something wrong?”

  
“Oh no, I’m just horrible at talking to people sometimes and try not to. I didn’t mean to come across as rude or anything,”

  
“It’s fine I understand, I can be the same way, I just wanted to see if it was because you got a bad vibe from me,” she smiled sweetly and Keith couldn’t help but smile a little too. She seemed overly nice and was interesting enough. Keith liked her, he hoped they would become friends.

  
The bell rang shortly after that and he made his way towards psych class which he was particularly excited about. He’d always loved learning about the human brain, it was one of the things that had always interested him. Not everyone thought or looked at things the same way and that amazed him, because not everyone was the same.

  
When he got to the classroom, the teacher was outside greeting students and almost instantly when the class started, he loved every bit of it. The teacher, Mr.Wilco, was a very nice man and young. He made a couple jokes and seemed to get along with everyone. He asked them questions about what they knew and what they wanted to know. It felt like the hour had gone by so quickly that when the bell rang Keith swore they had only been there for five minutes. When he walked out of the classroom he remembered he had linguistics next and didn’t know where that was.

  
He was ready to just wander until he found it until someone stepped in front of him when he walked out of the door. It startled him and he looked up quickly but relaxed when he saw that it was Lance.

  
“Pidge told me that I should walk you to our class because you didn’t know the way,” he said, he sounded bored or annoyed, Keith couldn’t tell.

  
“Thanks, I guess,” Keith muttered before following him to the class. Lance walked a little bit ahead of Keith and didn’t talk, which seemed odd to Keith but he didn’t say anything.

  
They walked down a flight of stairs and Lance continued down a small hallway. Keith stayed a little behind and was trying to think of something other than what was wrong with Lance. But that just took him back to his dream and he didn’t want to think of that for a little bit. Thankfully, they’d slowed down and Lance stopped at a door that was half way open.

  
He nudged it with his shoulder and walked in, Keith following like before. It was a small classroom and only three other students were already sitting in desks, talking quietly. When Lance walked in one of the kids smiled and waved him over, and Lance obliged and walked over to talk to them. Keith, who was now alone, sat down in the closest desk and looked around, trying to find something to do. It wasn’t till the door opened and the teacher came in that Lance returned and sat next to Keith, which surprised him but he didn’t say anything about it.

  
The class, just like the others was just an introduction, but this teacher was a little weirder than the rest. Keith liked him, he was nice and had good sense of humour.

  
After the class was lunch, which Keith was happy about because now he knew that his classes were almost done. Lance and him started towards the cafeteria in silence. Keith was curious as to why Lance decided not to talk to him or if this was just how he was when the others weren’t around.

  
When they got to the cafeteria, the others were already there and were in the middle of a heated conversation apparently.

  
“I’m just saying, he has every reason to be angry. He didn’t ask to be special, he didn’t ask to be wanted by almost the most powerful being in the wizard world,” Pidge was saying, they leaned back and crossed their arms. Shiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  
“I understand that but he has to understand the reasoning behind Ron’s jealousy right? Like he gets why Ron is angry at him and it’s not just about him thinking Harry put his name in the goblet. Ron knows it was impossible but he doesn’t want to say he’s jealous. Hermione is right and Harry is just being a child about all of it,” he said branching on anger.

  
“Harry is a child! Ron just needs to sit down and apologize to Harry and-”

  
“SO DOES HARRY, PIDGE!” Shiro yelled interrupting Pidge, who looked more enraged about how Shiro was talking to them.

  
“Ron needs to explain to Harry why he was acting the way he does instead of being a child about it all,”

  
“But you said that they are children!”

  
“Guys, how about we stop talking about it? Keith and Lance are here, look, subject change,” Hunk said softly, Pidge and Shiro dropped it but wouldn’t look at each other.  
Keith and Lance sat down next to each other.

  
“What’s going on?” Keith asked cautiously, looking between Pidge and Shiro.

  
“They’re having another book argument. They’re in a book club with each other, and they disagree about the books a lot,” Hunk explained.

  
“Well, if for once Shiro could be wrong about something we might be able to get somewhere,” Pidge muttered.

  
“Yeah, we know Pidge, we know,” Lance said a bit annoyed. Pidge looked offend then glared at Lance suspiciously.

  
“What’s wrong?” they asked in a quiet tone getting the attention of Shiro and Hunk.

  
“Yeah, you haven’t said much since you sat down, what’s going on?” Hunk asked.

  
Lance didn’t say anything, instead he started to focus on the food in front of him. The table was quiet and everyone looked at Lance expecting an answer. He glanced up a little bit then sighed.

  
“I’m arguing with Nyma again, it’s nothing,” he answered finally.

  
“What is it this time?” Pidge asked.

  
“She was talking to some guy from another school. Told me I was being crazy for assuming she was cheating,”

  
“Dude, are you being serious?” Pidge asked exasperated.

  
Lance nodded slightly but didn’t say anything.

  
“You know, I don’t mean to tell you what to do with your relationship but-” Shiro started.

  
“But break up with the bitch dude! She’s horrible to you,” Pidge said angrily interrupting Shiro. Lance looked up at them surprised by their sudden outburst.

  
“What Pidge is trying to say is you need to reevaluate how you feel about this girl. It’s obvious she’s not good enough for you,” Shiro said.

  
“Are you kidding me? She’s too good for me,” Lance said angrily. Shiro sighed and patted Lance’s shoulder.

  
“Dude, look, she doesn’t deserve how nice and caring you are, Lance and while we can all understand how annoying you can be, you still don’t deserve someone who obviously just isn’t into you,” Hunk said softly, sounding reassuring.

  
Keith couldn’t help but feel bad for Lance even though he didn’t know him that well or what he was going through.

  
“Yeah well, it’s whatever. She’s coming over later to talk about it,” Lance answered then grabbed his food and stood up. “I’m going, I have an hour or so before my next class and I’m gonna try to take a nap. See you guys later,”

  
He walked away without letting the others say anything. When he was gone they went quiet for a bit.

  
“I don’t understand why he doesn’t just break up with her, like doesn’t he see how bad she is? Isn’t this like the third time she’s started talking to the guy from the other school, it’s always him,” Pidge groaned angrily but Hunk sighed and put his head in his hands.

  
“He can’t help it, he loves her and wants to think things are working out. He needs to find someone else, someone who won’t treat him like horribly,” Hunk pointed out, Shiro and Pidge nodded in agreement.

  
Keith was confused, why would Lance stay with someone who didn’t love him like he loves them? He seemed like a nice and caring guy, good boyfriend so why would she keep almost cheating on him?

  
“Why doesn’t Lance just break up with her for good?” Keith said out loud getting weird looks from the others.

  
“Because he loves her too much, he thinks she’s the best he could do. Honestly, we’ve never liked her, she’s kind of a bitch and complains about everything Lance does. He’s a whole new person around her because she doesn’t like the real him,” Pidge answered honestly.

  
“Yeah but he seems like great guy and he’s interesting enough, why is she dating him if she doesn’t like him?”

  
“Keith, I’m gonna be nice because you said you’ve never had a real relationship but the only reason she stays with him is because that’s when Rolo pays attention to her. It’s the fact that she’s unattainable that really gets Rolo going,” Pidge said smirking.

  
“It’s just dumb and soon he’ll get it and they’ll break up hopefully,” Hunk said before standing up and pushing in his chair. “We gotta get to tech guys,”  
Pidge and Keith agreed, getting up and grabbing their stuff. Shiro leaned forward and opened a book.

  
“I still have an hour till class too, you guys have fun,” he said waving as they walked away.

  
The next couple of classes when by quickly for Keith, which he liked, and all of his classes were pretty much the same. The whole time he couldn’t stop thinking about the problem with Lance, he felt like he should talk to him about it but they weren’t close enough and it would just be awkward. Keith decided it was best to just not talk to Lance about it at all and let the others try to convince him.

  
Before he knew it he was settled in bed, reading. Shiro had been at his desk doing work, but Keith couldn’t imagine what class or professor would give him homework. He decided not to bother him until he finally went to bed.

  
“As much as I like learning and everything, I really hate homework,” he groaned while getting into bed.

  
Keith closed his book, setting it on the ground and pulling the blankets up.

  
“How was your first day, Keith?” Shiro asked suddenly.

  
“Oh, really good actually, it was great,” he answered.

  
“What’s your favourite class?”

  
“Probably psych, I just like stuff that have to do with the mind, that’s kind of why I decided to talk anatomy because we’ll get to go over the human brain. But in psych you kind of get to know what a person’s mind is actually like when it’s thinking and just the things it can come up with,” Keith said then noticed that Shiro was snoring. He smiled and turned off the night, glad that he can finally sleep and hopefully he’ll have a better dream.


	2. Halloween

“One word, four syllables, red fruit,” Keith said leaning against the table in the cafeteria. Pidge sat across from him thinking of an answer and Shiro sat next to them reading quietly. Occasionally he would look up at them or even give a little guess.

It was the weekend of Halloween and they’d gotten a small break from homework. They were all thankful because midterm was fast approaching. The thought of it made Keith’s anxiety spike but Shiro had offered to help tutor him. Plus, Pidge and Hunk offered help in tech class and that relaxed him a bit but still the thought of failing sometimes kept him up at night. But this weekend was not for thinking about that, ‘this weekend was for scares’ as Lance had put it.

Pidge was still thinking of an answer to Keith’s hints when Lance and Hunk walked up and sat down. Hunk looked curiously at them and arched an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?” he asked curiously. Shiro glanced up from his book then followed his gaze towards the other two.

“Pidge is trying to guess things about Keith with this weird game, it’s kind of interesting,” he sighed before looking back down at his book.

“I’ve already learned that his favorite color is red and that he prefers cats to dogs,” Pidge stated happily. “But this one I can’t get,”

“What is it?” Hunk joined in looking excited.

“One word, four syllables, red fruit,” Keith repeated chuckling. They’d been playing this since they got to the cafeteria because Pidge had gotten bored of reading over something. They had said something about being too mysterious and suggested this instead. Keith played along because it was something to do and it was actually kind of funny.

“Can we ask questions?’ Hunk said after a few moments of thinking. Keith nodded and smiled at them, this was actually a pretty easy one but he didn’t want to tell them that.

“What shape is it?” Hunk asked after a few more minutes. Pidge looked over confused and surprised at Hunk’s question.

“What kind of question is that?” Pidge said but then shook their head and looked at Keith expectantly. “What shape is this fruit?”

“It’s not a bad question, Pidge, it helps narrow the choices down,” Hunk muttered. Pidge threw their hands in the air exasperatedly and gasped.

“How many red fruits do you know that are square, Hunk? How many?” they screeched in surprise and angry. Hunk shrugged and waited for Keith’s answer but Keith was too busy chuckling at the slight disagreement about fruit shapes to notice.

“What shape is it?” Pidge finally asked and waited for Keith to calm down.

“It is round,”he answered finally making Hunk think harder.

“It’s round and red, what the fuck man?” Pidge said angrily banging their fists on the table. Keith sat back and watched them think, he was surprised because it wasn’t actually that hard. He didn’t think it was at least.

“Is it a red apple?” Hunk asked, Keith shook his head in an answer.

“Four syllables, big guy,” Keith chuckled.

“Oh yeah, I forgot,”

“I feel like you're thinking too much about it. It's real simple,” Keith said trying to help. Shiro glanced up and chuckled at how confused Hunk and Pidge were. For the two smartest people in their group, they didn't really know fruit.

“Hunk, you're a chef how do you now know?” Shiro questioned with a puzzled look. Hunk just shrugged and leaned forward.

“I guess I don't use fruit a whole lot,” he answered then looked at Keith. “Is it like a regional fruit?”

“It's not from the US no, but people have started growing it here. It's a tropical kind of fruit. You don't eat it like a normal one,” he hinted more but still they were confused.

“Dragon fruit?” Pidge asked then yelled “Wait that's only three, never mind”

“Good cause you're wrong but dragon fruit is pretty good,” Keith admitted. He was ready to let them quit after a few more guesses but finally someone got it.

“Pomegranate, you don’t eat it like any other fruit, you eat the seeds,” Lance suggested and the others looked at him to Keith, who nodded.

“Yeah, they’re the only fruit I can eat in abundance,” Keith said after a bit. Pidge sat back and sighed, obviously upset they couldn’t figure it out.

“You’re too hard to figure out, when I played this with Hunk I got every question right on the first try,” they grumbled crossing their arms. Hunk looked a little offended but it wore off quickly.

“What are you guys doing for Halloween?” Lance asked after minutes of silence.

Keith had forgot it was almost Halloween anyway. Growing up he never really cared for any of the holidays. It wasn’t because they never did anything at the foster home, it was because he just didn’t see the point in it. Any foster family he stayed with around the holidays tried to hard to make it special for him and sometimes he thought they were doing it because they knew things weren’t working out and they wanted to make him feel better. Other times, it was because he felt the holidays were too centered around family, Christmas is when you sit around and open presents as a family, you go to church as a family, you eat a feast as a family and since he never really had one (besides the other kids at the foster home) he couldn’t relate to the stories he heard. Plus he wasn’t really religious so most of the holidays didn’t apply to him like Easter. He didn’t have much to be thankful for so Thanksgiving was always spent in his room reading or sleeping, plus he only liked the eating part of it. When it came to Halloween, he didn’t mind it he just chose not to go trick-or-treating when he was younger and now he just always just watched scary movies leading up to Halloween.

“I was thinking about sitting in my dorm and watch some movies,” Shiro said making Keith nod.

“Matt wants to go do something but we’re too old for trick-or-treating now,” Pidge complained. Matt was their older brother, he went to another school and had visited occasionally but Keith had only met him once.

“As fun as all of that sounds and I’m sure it would be, but I have a better plan,” Lance stated happily.

“We’re not doing anything illegal,” Shiro deadpanned glaring at Lance.

“Or dangerous, last year you almost killed me, never again,” Hunk warned. But Lance was barely listening so the warning were out the door.

“There’s a party, in the woods, there’s gonna be booze and girls and a fire to tell scary stories around,” he said trying to make it sound better than they knew it was.

“That’s illegal, we’re underage,” Shiro stated.

“It’s in the woods, there will be no cops and no adults, well maybe a few older students that have legal licenses but still. Don’t you guys want one night where we do something fun and to take our brains off studying and tests?” He tried. They all went silent, trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea. “C’mon, get a little drunk, meet a couple girls or guys,” He said looking at Pidge and Keith “Make some bad decisions, break a few barriers,”

“Why do you want to meet girls so bad? Have you really become that desperate since Nyma stopped talking to you?” Pidge asked giving him a tired look. Lance just shrugged and smirked.

“I’m just gonna be scouting from afar, and for you guys. I’m tired of being the only one in the relationship here,” he answered. Shiro groaned into his book and closed it, looking over at Lance.

“When and where is this party?” he asked in a serious voice.

“In the woods not too far from campus, and it’s tomorrow night,” he replied and looked around at the table. “Sooo...are you guys in or not?”

“Yeah, whatever, I need sometime out of my dorm, it’ll be boring without you there,” Hunk relented making Lance smile at the compliment.

“Ah hell, I’ll go, I’m bringing Matt though,” Pidge agreed leaving it down to Shiro and Keith, who exchanged a glance.

“I have to go now because I don’t trust you three, someone needs to be there to keep you from hurting yourselves,” Shiro said finally. 

“Much appreciated, father,” Lance said faking a bow. Shiro rolled his eyes and set his book on the table.

“Please, don’t,” he muttered. It was down to Keith.

“I’ll go if Shiro goes,” he stated. Lance’s grin got bigger and he stood up.

“Awesome, awesome, I’ll come get you guys around 6. Meet me outside the boy’s dorms. I’m off to see my lady,” he announced before walking away happily.

For about another hour or so they sat talking to each other. Keith couldn’t help but worry about this party but he’d agreed to go and as long as Shiro was there, he was sure he’d be fine. Shiro had become a calming person to be around. He picked up on things quickly and could often tell before anyone else when Keith got nervous. He liked that about him, it made Keith feel like Shiro understood and was there to, well, protect him. Kind of like a dad.

After a few hours of just sitting in the cafeteria playing more of that guessing game, Keith figured it was about time he headed back to the dorm to both study and sleep. Shiro joined him and helped with idle conversation as they walked. 

Keith had yet told Shiro about being an orphan because he just didn't want him to feel bad for him. He'd already seen how much he protects Pidge (even though they didn't really need it) because their dad died when they were younger. He just didn’t want that from Shiro and he actually didn’t intend to tell anyone ever unless he absolutely had to. Besides none of them would ever ask right?

It was getting late when Keith finally looked at the clock. He’d been sitting at his desk working on psych and chemistry homework. Shiro had helped him with most of his chemistry but he still hadn’t finished all of it. But when he finally looked at the clock, Shiro was asleep and Keith was almost there too. He’d fallen asleep a few times but woke up when his head hit the table. Finally he decided it was better for him to just go to sleep. He stood up and it felt like he was gonna collapse so he flung himself onto his bed and when his head hit the pillow he was out.

He woke up what felt like three minutes later. The first thing he noticed was how bright it was, it made his head hurt. He looked around slowly and saw that Shiro was gone.  
‘Must’ve already headed for the cafeteria,’ Keith thought sitting up. His body ached from staying in the same position for too long. He stood up and stretched looking out the window. There were a lot of people walking around the quad but then he remembered why, football game. 

He’d never liked sports, in high school he hated the football players. He never paid attention to it since he started college. Lance, though, had dragged him to some of the games. Except Keith had always been a back up if Hunk and Pidge couldn’t go. There was one time Pidge, Keith and Lance had gone together and while they didn’t look it, Pidge could yell really loud and had a lot of spirit. But right now everyone was walking around in groups talking and some carried blankets.

He left his dorm to go to the cafeteria and was surprised at how nice it felt outside. One of the things that Keith had always liked was the way nature looked when it was changing. He never told anyone this but he liked autumn more than any other season. He liked the colors of the leaves, oranges, yellows and reds all mixed together. He liked the weather and the way the sun shined through the trees making them look like they’re on fire. As he walked along the leaf strewn sidewalk he couldn’t help but get distracted looking at them. The tall oaks that grew around campus and the maples that were scattered throughout. Some students were picnicking underneath the trees, talking about what they were gonna do tonight. He let himself get lost in the energy and colors. But it wasn’t till something slammed into him that he came back down.

It took a few seconds to realize it was another person. They stood about a foot higher than Keith and was really strong because it hurt when they had collided. Keith looked up to see one of the biggest and meanest guys standing in front of him. The guy wasn’t alone either, two other guys flanked him, which made Keith nervous but he brushed it off. Then he realized they were players, they had on jackets with the team mascot on it. Keith was about to apologize when the guy started talking.

“You’re a freshman aren’t you?” he asked his voice deep and menacing. Keith nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I am,” he muttered cautiously. The guy looked him up and down then smirked.

“What’s the name?”

“Ah Keith,” he answered swiftly.

“You gotta last name, Keith?” This question made Keith bristle because when he normally told people his last name he was met with too many questions. He didn’t trust this guy, at all, and he didn’t like that the guy was asking so many questions at once. Why did he care?

Keith was about to retort something to him that probably would’ve escalated but was saved by someone putting a hand on his shoulder. It was Shiro.

“Morning, Lotor, how’s it going?” he asked in a calm voice but the way his jaw was set, Keith knew there was a problem. Lotor looked from Keith to Shiro, his expression turning to one of annoyance.

“It was going fine till I ran into your little friend here,” he grumbled flicking his eyes to Keith then back at Shiro. What the hell did he mean by little?

“Well, I’m sorry about that but we must remember a sidewalk is a public area, which means you and your friends don’t have to walk in the middle all the time. Keep that in mind the next time,” Shiro gave a false smile and watched as Lotor huffed and walked past them. Shiro watched them until the rounded a corner and were out of eyesight.

“Who was that?” Keith asked curiously, making Shiro turn towards him. His mood had changed into one that was friendly, his normal mood.

“He’s a football player, his dad works at the school, I guess. He’s not very nice,” he answered nicely. “Sorry, I left so early, I had to grab something quickly and then was headed to the cafeteria. And the others and I were thinking about going to the football game before heading to that party, wanna join?”

It would be better than just sitting in his dorm doing homework, because he didn’t want to do that. So he agreed and followed Shiro to the front of the stadium where the others were waiting. Lance and Pidge were sporting jerseys and had orange and black face paint. Hunk was dressed in a sweater and looked more or less embarrassed to be standing next to them. But his face changed when they came walking up. He looked relieved almost that Keith was with Shiro.

“Thank god, you brought him. These two are too weird for just me and you,” Hunk exclaimed.

Shiro laughed and lead the way towards the stadium.

“Hunk, we’re just trying to show some beaver pride,” Lance joked.

“Beavers!” Pidge screamed loudly almost shattering Keith’s eardrums. They walked to the front and stood in the admission line which seemed like a mile long. Lance and Pidge were in a deep conversation about who they thought would win and who would score the winning point. Keith didn’t understand a thing they were saying. He was also focusing more on how many people were here today. Normally it was crowded but this was overcrowded.

“Why are there so many people?” he asked eventually.

“Because it’s the halloween game, they’re having a costume contest at halftime and a pride contest. Which we’re going to win,” Lance answered nodding towards Pidge happily.

“I brought a beaver,” Pidge smirked. That sentence confused Keith but thankfully Hunk could ask first.

“Like a real one?” he asked and Pidge’s smirk fell and became very serious.

“No, I have a fake one that I bought from the store. Its adorable, it’s in my bag,” they said then took off their bag and started rummaging around in it. A few minutes later they pulled out a stuffed beaver with a little piece of wood in its mouth. They were right, it was adorable but beavers weren’t always Keith’s favourite. They hugged the beaver then passed it to Hunk, who really wanted to look at it.

“Dude, where did you get this?” he asked happily.

“From the store like down the street from here, I went yesterday. They have a lot of shit in there that are so sweet, I’ll take you sometime after class,”  
Shiro came back with the tickets and they headed inside where Keith became more nervous.

He could handle small groups, that’s why he like this group, but large crowds always made him nervous. He’d gotten used to the football games normally, but this was too much. He didn’t like when people touched him, at least strangers. He didn’t like people.

The whole place was crowded and loud. When they finally found seats, Hunk insisted they sit on the end of a row, Keith sat next to him because Hunk got the end seat. He found it easier in case the crowd became too much.

It was a awhile before the game actually started, so for now the band was playing and the players were on the field stretching and practicing. Hunk had taken it upon him to bring them all snacks specifically for each person.

“Sorry, I didn’t know what you’d like so I got you skittles. You look like a skittles guy?” Hunk said handing the small bag to Keith, who was just happy the guy thought of him.

“Is that because he’s tasting the rainbow?” Pidge asked laughing leaning over to look at them. When Hunk looked confused, Pidge elaborated, “Cause he’s gay, Hunk. A rainbow is the sign for gays,”

“Ohh, okay. Sorry, I didn’t mean to..”Hunk apologized but Keith stopped him.

“It’s fine, big guy, I don’t care. And I actually love skittles,” Keith assured him, opening the little package. Hunk sighed with relief.

“That makes so much sense,” Pidge muttered shaking her head and sitting back in her seat. Keith gave a small chuckle and ate a few skittles. He was thankful that Hunk had gotten him something, he didn’t want to navigate his way to the concession. He tried not to eat all of them yet and waited til the game started to eat them again.

By the end of second quarter they were ahead by ten points and in a good position as Pidge had put it. Keith didn’t know what was happening and when he had asked Shiro, he’d just replied with “I never know anything about sports,” which Keith couldn’t argue with because it was the same for him.

When the field had been cleared out of players, they let in a few people dressed in costumes. There were a few superheros Keith knew, like Captain America and Batman but then there were some that he didn’t recognize.

“The transformer is gonna win, they put too much thought into that costume,” Lance stated.

“I agree but that Cap is pretty close to the original, even in body type,” Pidge countered smiling.

“I thought you liked girls?”

“I can decide what I like and what I don’t, Lance. I’m not held down by any label,”

“What’s a transformer?” Keith asked suddenly, he didn’t mean for it to come out. And the looks he got from Lance, Pidge and even Shiro made him think he really shouldn’t have said it out loud.

“You’ve never seen Transformers?” Shiro asked his tone skeptical, almost like he thought Keith was joking.

“No,” Keith answered confused.

“Dude, did your parents like deprive you of technology when you were little?” Lance asked sincerely. Keith felt a weird twist in his chest but ignored it.

“No, I was just never interested in that stuff. What is it?” Keith retorted. 

“It’s a movie about giant robots that are also cars. It’s an okay movie,” Pidge told him, making Lance have a freak out.

“An okay movie, Pidge? Do you not have good movie taste? That movie is amazing,”

“It’s okay,” Pidge deadpanned glaring at Lance, who dropped it.

“My bet would be on the Link and Zelda costumes because it’s a team effort and the have more detail,” Hunk pointed out getting an approving nod from Lance and Pidge.

“Let’s watch and find out,” Pidge said.

One by one the groups or person was judged and the final result was the Link and Zelda couple, which Shiro and Hunk were happy about. Pidge and Lance had argued about it for a few minutes until they announced the pride contest.

“Alright guys get ready,” Lance yelled happily.

“What is this?” Keith asked Shiro quietly.

“They’re going to judge which team has better crowd pride. Basically, they’re going to just judge how loud everyone is,” he answered and sure enough the next minute their side of the stadium erupted into sound that made his ears hurt. He ducked his head as if that would help him and looked over at Shiro who mouthed ‘told you’. Keith looked up to see Lance and Pidge standing up, both screaming and Pidge shaking the beaver around in the air.

Then suddenly the noise stopped and it started up but farther away. It didn’t seem as loud anymore and it stopped sooner. Lance and Pidge stayed standing and waited for the final decision.

The beaver’s must’ve won because the crowd roared louder than before, then it quickly died down when the team came back onto the field.

The rest of the game breezed by for Keith, he didn’t pay attention to most of it. But judging from the excitement they must’ve won. It was close to dark by the time the game way over, the sun was close to setting. Lance and Pidge were super energetic and excited.

“That was amazing, dude. Third year in a row we won the halloween game, we’re so good,” Pidge yelled. Shiro was leading them back to the dorms so he could grab something before they headed into the woods. “Now I’m just ready to get wasted,”

“But we’re going to be careful, right? I don’t want to have to drag you guys home when you’re dead drunk,” Shiro advised looking over at Pidge.

“Yes, dad, we promise we won’t get out of control,” they answered making Shiro sigh and continue walking.

“Alright, wait here and I’ll be back in a minute,” Shiro said when they were outside the dorms before running inside.

“Who’s even having this party?” Hunk asked looking over at Lance.

“Some of the football players and cheerleaders. It’s gonna be great,” Lance answered smirking.

“Is Nyma coming?”

“No, she’s got stuff she has to do tonight,” he said it like he didn’t care but his face didn’t show that. He looked a little angry like they’d had a fight over it already. Soon Shiro came back and they headed towards the woods on the outside of campus. They kept up good conversation and Keith tried to be apart of it but something about this was making him nervous.

He’d never been actually full on drunk before nor has he ever been to a party. He’d never wanted to be but this time he thought he might as well go because at least he was with friends. But he couldn’t help getting a little nervous and worried. He didn’t know why he was, he didn’t have to talk to anyone and no one knew him anyway.  
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Shiro give him a small smile. He quickly looked away and brushed the feeling away from his thoughts. Instead when they walked into the clearing he took the first beer he could get he chugged it.

In hindsight, he realized that was a bad idea. When he started drinking one he just didn’t want to stop. And things got really out of hand when Lance made a bet and challenged him.

“You ever done a kegstand?” Lance asked sitting down across from Keith.

“A kegstand?” Keith asked raising an eyebrow. Lance nodded and smirked.

“You ever done one?”

“Can’t say I have,”

“Do you want to? Me against you?”

“Like a race?” Lance nodded, “What’s the stakes?”

“Whoever can drink the most for the longest gets all the money in the other’s wallet,” Lance said his smirk growing. Keith was in immediately.

“Guys, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Shiro suggested but was ignored by them both. Hunk and Pidge though agreed that it was the best idea.  
They walked towards the circle and Lance asked one of the guys holding up the guy drinking of the keg.

“We have a bet, we’re next,” he said and the guy nodded. When they let the guy down, they pulled up another keg and two other football players came up.

“You ready to lose, Kogane?” Lance asked glaring at Keith from across the two kegs.

“I ain’t losing shit, McClain,” Keith retorted.

“Language please,” Shiro said where he stood with his arms crossed.

“Yes, dad,” Lance said then they were picked up and when the player yelled go they squeezed the nozzle and started chugging.

Keith felt like he was going to puke but there was no fucking way he was going to lose to Lance who would just boast about it for months. He tried to breathe out the side of his mouth and would let go of the nozzle for a little bit then go hard again. He wanted to keep himself from choking cause then he would lose. He tried not to look over at Lance to see how he was doing cause he’d mess up and lose. He could hear everyone around them cheering and he could especially hear Pidge who went between cheering for Keith and Lance. Hunk of course teamed with Lance and Keith knew he didn’t mean anything by it. Then someone yelled stop and Keith looked over to see Lance give up and be set back down so he stopped and was set down too.

The world moved, it twisted and turned and lifted up then dipped back down. He blinked and tried to figure out where he was but all he could figure out was that he won. The guys patted him on the back and he stumbled his way back to Shiro and Pidge, Lance behind him.

“What the hell? I didn’t know you had such a tolerance,” Lance complained.

“And I didn’t know you were such a lightweight,”Keith retorted drunkenly but still smooth.

“I can’t believe you two,” Shiro said shaking his head but he was laughing so Keith didn’t take it seriously.

“Alright, dude, pay up,” Keith said holding out his hand. Lance reluctantly pulled out his wallet and handed him all the money in it, which was just a ten and two ones but still to a poor college orphan was more than enough.

“Thank you, for paying for my lunch this week,” Keith muttered.

“Can you pay for me too cause I got nothing,” Lance joked.

“You can have one thing for only a dollar,” Keith answered then walked away to get another beer from the cooler and sat down again. Lance plopped down next to him and opened his own beer.

The more Keith drank the more he forgot how horrible things had been for him up to this point. Not that he had always thought about it like that but when he first started drinking that’s all he thought of but now that he was wasted he didn’t think of anything important, which was a bad idea.

Lance and him had sat there talking and Keith realized that when he got drunk, Lance will tell you anything. He told Keith about how he was second guessing his relationship and how he’d thought about breaking up with her for so long but couldn’t. He talked about his family and how he missed them and something happened. It was a split moment when Keith actually felt bad for Lance and he did something he wouldn’t have done any other time.

He leaned over and kissed him. At first he didn’t realize what he was doing and was ready to pull away when Lance leaned into it and pressed harder. And it kept going and Keith didn’t want it to stop until it did.


	3. Mistakes

The next morning there were three combined reasons as to why Keith woke up. The first being the pounding headache that made he want to just fall back asleep and made he almost say he never wants to drink again. He didn’t want to open his eyes, he knew it would hurt and he didn’t want to add to the already existing pain.

The second reason was that the door to his dorm was bust open then shut loudly and his blankets were ripped off the bed. This is when Keith immediately hated everything. The dorm was so cold and his sweats were really thin. Somehow this made the headache worse. He curled into a ball and groaned angrily, still refusing to open his eyes.

The third and final reason was that someone was yelling at him. Loudly and angrily. It took a few minutes for him to realize who it was and what they were pissed about.

“Lance, shut up for a minute. Jesus, I haven’t even woke up yet,” he groaned into his pillow but Lance continued on his rant that Keith only caught bits of because some of it was Spanish.

“Wake up! Listen to me when I’m pissed at you! You dick!” Lance yelled throwing one of Shiro’s pillows at Keith. That made Keith more pissed and he sat bolt upright and glared at Lance. He forgot about the pain in his head for a minute.

“Lance, what do you want!? I’m tired and hungover, what could be so important that you have to fucking throw shit at me? What?” Keith yelled angrily.

“Do you not remember?” Lance’s voice accusatory. He elaborated when Keith gave him a confused face. “Last night, in the woods, when you kissed me,”

“What about it?” Keith asked seriously. He’d already forgot about it, not that he remembered the details of it. He just remembered it happening, then he was in his dorm asleep and here he was getting yelled at.

“What do you mean what about it? Are we going to talk about it?” Lance asked angrily. He put his hands on his hips which reminded Keith of an angry parent.

Truth was, Keith didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to forget it. Part of him was embarrassed and part of him hated himself for it. He hated the Lance insisted on talking about it. Then a thought came to him. A horrifying thought.

“You didn’t tell the others did you?” Keith asked. Not that he didn’t want them to know but he didn’t because he worried what they would say.

“What? Of course, not yet anyway,” Lance answered confused.

“Don’t. I don’t want to have to listen to Pidge and Hunk laugh about this. It shouldn’t have happened and we’re going to drop it,” Keith said standing up.

“No, we aren’t. You’re going to tell me why you did it,”

“Because I was drunk, I deeply regret it but we aren’t going to talk about it,”

“I have a girlfriend,”

“Yes, Lance, I’m aware. I’ve met her,” Keith said angrily going to his closet to get changed.

“I cheated on her, I would never do that. You made me cheat,”

“Lance, calm down, she won’t find out if you just keep your mouth shut,”

“You’re asking me to lie to her?”

“It’s not lying because she won’t ask and you won’t have to tell. It’s a secret not a lie,” Keith reassured him. But Lance just started at him in confusion.

“You’re not taking this seriously,” Lance complained.

“No, I’m not because it meant nothing, Lance. It was a lapse in judgement and we were drunk. Do I like you? No. Do you like me?” Keith waited for him to answer and for a second he thought he saw a look of pain on Lance’s face but it was gone before he could think about it.

“No, I don’t,” he answered proving Keith’s point and he knew it.

“Great, grand, wonderful, now we can move on and never talk about this again,” Keith said finally dressed but the headache wasn’t gone. If anything it was worse. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go get some water and some pills to get rid of the splitting headache that you made worse. And next time when you want to talk about something, do not wake me up by yelling at me!” Keith said angrily before grabbing his jacket and opening the door. Lance followed him out, closing the door behind him.

“I’ll come with because I need some too. All that moving around really fucked my head up,” Lance stated holding his head with both hands.

Keith rolled his eyes and walked towards the stairs. Each step sending a vibration of pain from his feet to his head.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Lance asked suddenly.

“Not a lot, I just remember drinking and winning, then the mistake and then waking up this morning,” Keith answered, looking over at Lance. “Do you remember anything? We drank the same amount,”

“Nah, dude you drank way more than me. After the kiss you drank like ten more beers. Shiro had to carry you back,” Lance said “And you kept yelling something. It was pretty incoherent but the parts we could make out was about family, I don’t know,”

Keith tensed up, he hoped he hadn’t said anything too important. But seeing how Lance had yet asked anything about it, he assumed he hadn't said much.

What they got to the small store it was just a few feet from the cafeteria so they bought their meds and walked over to grab some waters. They took it at the same time and soon it became a race to see who could drink their bottle first. Lance won and boasted about it the whole way to the table.

“So you can chug alcohol but can't chug water?” He asked laughing which set spikes of pain to Keith's head.

“Shut up, Lance,” he answered sitting down. If anything he felt worse now.

“Morning, I'm surprised you're alive,” Pidge asked looking over at him from her laptop. Keith gave a sarcastic smile and put his face in his hands.

“I told you two not to go too crazy. That's your fault,” Shiro said under his breath.

“Please, don't lecture me this early, I get that enough from my mother,” Lance grumbled leaning in his chair. “How are you two not hungover, Pidge, you drank just as much as me?”

“I have a higher tolerance. And I'm better at hiding my pain,” they smiled and continued typing.

Lance rolled his eyes and looked around. It wasn’t till then that a thought came to Keith.

“Where’s Hunk?” he asked catching Lance’s attention.

“He’s on a date,” Pidge answered smoothly.

“What? No he’s not,” Lance said confused. Pidge looked around the computer at him.

“Yeah he is, he came down this morning, we met the girl and they went to see a movie,”

“He didn’t tell me, why wouldn’t he tell me? I’m his best friend,” Lance said his voice a little higher pitched.

“He said something about you running off somewhere and he couldn’t find you,” Shiro answered without looking up. Lance and Keith made awkward eye contact then both looked away.

“Well, he could’ve texted me,” Lance grumbled angrily. Pidge stared at him in annoyance.

“Yeah, how could he,” they said before going back to their work. Lance looked at them in fake anger before getting up.

“Where are you going?” Shiro asked

“Going to see Nyma, we gotta talk about something,” Lance answered before walking away.

Keith felt bad for some reason but didn’t say anything to him before he walked away. He knew it was going to be about him and as much as he wished he could take back the kiss he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t quite tell if he regretted it or just wished it hadn’t have happened when it did. He didn’t like Lance of course, he just wished he hadn’t kissed someone in a relationship while drunk at a party after knowing the person for only two months. He didn’t want to be the reason they broke up but Keith tried not to worry about it because he didn’t like Nyma in the first place. If they broke up he wouldn’t have to see her and she would no longer be around to treat him like a lesser person.

He looked up to see Shiro looking at him from the top of his book but he looked back down when Keith looked up. Keith didn't ask why, instead he ignored it and started eating. Eventually he got bored and got up to walk around.

He just hoped he wasn't going to get lost. The campus was bigger than expected but he thought maybe it would help him navigate better.

He'd gotten to the edge of the woods when he finally stopped. Here, he couldn't hear anything. He could hear the faint sound of cars but he could easily tune that out. The only sound prominent was the sound of birds, it was pretty actually. It started to calm Keith.

“Hey, Keith right?” Someone said next to him. He jumped and moved away, he didn't hear them walk up to him. But when he looks over he calmed down. It was Allura.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you,” she apologized quickly.

“No you're fine, I just didn't hear you come up. How's it going?” Keith asked after he regained some composure. Allura smiled, she has a beautiful smile, Keith thought.

“It's good. How was your Halloween?”

“It was fine. Went to a party last night. Not the best idea,” he joked.

“I can agree, I went to a little party myself,” her smile turned into a smirk, then she looked around the woods. “Why are you all the way out here?”

“I needed to go on a walk to clear my head,” he answered before turning to her, “Why are you out here?”

“I wanted to go on a walk as well, I've found that they help me relax, reminds me of home,”

“Where are you from?”

“England, I used to go on walks all the time. We used to live outside of the city until we moved here,”

“Can't be too much different from your home. Same gloomy clouds, close to the same amount of rain, right?” Keith asked, he smiled a little when she laughed.

“It's close enough. While I miss home, I'm starting to like Oregon just as much,” she smiled again.

“Would you like to join me on the rest of my walk? It would be nice to have someone with me to talk to at least,” Keith asked anxiously.

“I would love to Keith,” Allura agreed and they felt into step side by side.

Keith realized, he really liked Allura. She was easier to talk to than most people. They barely talked during class so this was calming, being able to talk to her without distraction.

They talked about her home, they talked about his, about what they wanted to be and they talked about the woods. Mainly how pretty and calming it was.

When they finally made it back to the cafeteria, Keith invited her to join them for supper, she agreed thankfully and followed him in. When they approached the table, Pidge and Shiro were in their normal seats, looking as if they hadn't moved. Lance and Hunk were deep in conversation. They looked up when Keith and Allura appeared.

“I brought a guest,” Keith stated motioning to Allura who waved. They waved back except for Shiro, who was staring at her.

“Oh hello, Allura, please sit,” he said nicely standing up and getting her a chair to sit in closer to him of course. She took it gracefully.

“Hello, again Shiro. I haven't seen you in a while?” Allura joked giving him a sly smile. Shiro blushed and set his book down.

“I've been rather busy, sorry,” Shiro answered smoothly. “How did you and Keith meet?”

“We have anatomy together and I just ran into him while walking,” Allura answered.

“So that's where you disappeared to,” Pidge said looking over at Keith. “You need a tracker,”

“Did you need me for something?” Keith asked “Because I remember announcing I was leaving before actually leaving. You said nothing,”

“I did need you,” they answered, swinging the laptop around for him. “Proof read this, it's for history, it's that dumb essay,”

“I haven't even started mine,” Lance said.

“I finished mine the other night, it's not that hard,” Keith stated reading through the small paragraph. It was supposed to be describing an ancient civilization and how it thrived and died. He'd done his over the Mayans, Pidge did their’s over the Romans.

“Of course it's not, would you like to do mine?” Lance asked making Keith look over at him surprised.

“I'm not doing your homework, Lance,” Keith deadpanned, going back to the essay of Pidge’s.

“You're helping Pidge!”

“I'm proofreading, I'm not doing it for Pidge,”

“Helping them more than me,” Lance said quietly, Keith just rolled his eyes and continued. Allura and Shiro had been having their own conversation and Keith was happy to see that.

Soon it got too late and they headed to their dorms to sleep because they had class tomorrow, which no one was excited for. Although, Keith was just happy that he finished his homework on time. Pidge and him finished the essay together and were eventually forced to help Lance as well.

When they got to their dorm, Shiro laid down with a huff and kicked his shoes off.

“I could sleep forever right now,” he muttered. Keith mhmed an agreement from his desk. “I don’t want to go to classes tomorrow,”

“Sadly, you made that agreement when you enrolled here,” Keith joked.

“Yeah, I should’ve just stayed at home with my parents,” Shiro laughed.

Keith moved to his bed and laid on his stomach, ready to sleep.

“Hey, can I ask you something a little personal?” Shiro asked suddenly, making Keith look over at him slowly.

“Sure, shoot man,” Keith said casually.

“You don’t talk about your family a lot. Like Lance talks about his all the time and Pidge meets with their brother sometimes on the weekends. And you’ve asked some questions about mine but you’ve never really said much about your’s. Why is that?”

Keith hesitated, he could tell the truth but he also wondered if Shiro already knew but was being nice. He could tell the truth and maybe everything will feel less like a weight on him. Or he could lie and cause more issues for when he eventually finds out.

“I just, ahh, I don’t want to talk about it,” he said finally

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I was just curious. Sorry, I didn’t me to offend or upset,” Shiro said quickly sitting up, it surprised Keith a little.

“It’s fine, it’s just a long story,” Keith admitted and Shiro nodded quickly.

“I understand and if you ever want to talk about it, I’m willing to listen and I won’t tell the others. I promise,” he assured him and Keith relaxed, his heart no longer beating furiously.

“Thanks and I know you won’t,” he replied giving a small smile, Shiro returned it then slipped under his covers.

“Well, good night, Keith,” he yawned before turning over and going to sleep.

“Night, Shiro,” Keith muttered. He stared at the ceiling in thought. He should’ve just told Shiro because if he could trust anyone it was him. And he was nice enough to make Keith feel better about it because while he hated talking about it, it really did affect him more than he let on sometimes. Especially when around Lance, who had multiple siblings and a large and close extended family as Keith had come to learn. He just never thought to talk about it with anyone cause he didn’t want the sympathy, he just wanted someone to listen. And maybe that was Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one seems shorter, it might not be but I've been super busy lately and I'm trying to work on it as much as I can. But thanks to everyone who's left a comment and thanks to everyone who's left a kudos.


	4. The Library

It was two weeks till Thanksgiving break and professors were cramming homework. Which didn’t hurt Keith as much as the others because he spent most of his nights doing homework. He started sleeping less but made up for it by drinking coffee. Shiro wasn’t any better either but he still slept most nights.

Keith was reading his anatomy book when Lance came in and slammed his books on the table. Keith looked up in surprise as Lance sat down across from him. He huffed and opened one of his own books angrily.

“What’s going on?” Keith asked cautiously. Lance’s head snapped up and he looked positively pissed but answered Keith anyway.

“What’s going on? I’ll tell you what’s going on. I just got off the phone with my now ex because she thought some other guy that she’s been cheating on me with for the last year and a half treated her better than I did because I went to one party and kissed another person. And she made the comment about how she never should’ve trusted me in the first place because my ‘sexuality is too all over the place’, which makes no sense but alright. I have too much fucking homework and I just want to sleep but I can’t. I’m angry, I’m tired and I can’t tell what I want from what I don’t,” Lance leaned back with a huff and Keith debated if he should’ve asked in the first place.

He wasn’t good at talking to people especially when they were upset or angry. It just wasn’t his thing and he was bad at being compassionate or empathetic. He’d always had the tendency to say the wrong things at the wrong times. So most of the time he stayed quiet, which apparently wasn’t something he should’ve done here.

“You ask me what’s wrong and I tell you and you say nothing? Are you like a robot or something? You have like one facial expression that I’ve seen and it’s just the facial expression of when someone eats the last cookie and you contemplate murder. Is that what you’re doing?” Lance asked suddenly. He spoke too quickly for Keith to fully understand.

“What?” he stuttered out after a long moment. Lance just stared at him blank faced and annoyed.

“I’m just going to study,” he said finally and looked down at his open book, leaving keith staring at him.

Keith looked back down at his book and started reading again. They sat in silence for a half hour and occasionally Keith would glance up at Lance but his face was the same.

One by one the others joined them, the first was Hunk, then Pidge and finally Shiro who said Allura would be joining them soon. When Hunk came Lance seemed to brighten up and helped Hunk with his work. Pidge made their camp at the end of the table and started on another essay they’d be working on. Shiro had sat next to Keith, helping him with whatever he needed. They sat working among themselves for a little bit till Lance threw his pencil into the middle of the table.

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. Throwing in the towel, I’ll just be a stripper,” he yelled angrily pulling his head in his hands.

“As much as we would all like to see that, Lance, I don’t think that’s the proper future for you,” Pidge replied not looking up from their laptop.

“They get paid more, treated better sometimes. I’ll become a high class one, you know? One they let only politicians and foreign diplomats have the company of,”

“Lance, I don’t think that’s a stripper,” Shiro said slowly making Lance scowl.

“That’s a prostitute. Depending on how serious you are about this dream, I’d say be a stripper,” Keith interjected quietly. Lance looked over at him giving him a questioning look then looked over at Shiro.

“I don’t think you’re parents would appreciate this new life choice, they seem like not those kind of people,” Shiro said the last part with a cough like he was trying to cover it. Lance just rolled his eyes and closed the book.

“My parents wouldn’t care, they never have before. Besides, they’ve already got the perfect son. He’s currently in New York at his office,” Lance groaned leaning back. Hunk patted him on the shoulder and continued working.

“We know buddy,” he assured him. “You going home for thanksgiving?”

“Yeah. my mom misses me and Lucy’s birthday is coming up so I’ll be leaving early. What about you guys, I guess we really haven’t talked about what we’re doing,” Lance asked looking around at them curiously.

“I might go back to Montana, but the price of gas is so bad and I can’t fly. But I think my parents are going to see my grandparents in the islands so I’m not sure,” Hunk answered first. This was actually the first time Hunk talked about his family.

“What islands?” Keith asked suddenly. He was curious and he wanted to know more about Hunk because right now, he knew nothing.

“I’m Samoan, both my parents were born there and I was but they moved to Montana when I was younger. My grandparents stayed there and we go visit them once a year. They want us to move back because they haven’t been able to be around Gracie as much as they did me,” Hunk explained. Keith knew he had a little sister but now she had a name and he knew Hunk wasn’t actually from Montana because of the tanned skin. It was like everyone was slowly gaining a back story to Keith.

“I have to go back home because my mom and Matt’s been pressuring me to go see her,” Pidge was saying when Keith came out of his thoughts.

“How is Matt?” Shiro asked, Lance winked at Shiro who became visibly uncomfortable. “Stop it, Lance,”

He didn’t but the table decided to ignore him.

“He’s good, he’s thinking about transferring here but he’s not sure yet,” Pidge replied, Shiro just nodded and looked down at his work in thought.

Keith started to think about how different he really was. Everyone else had siblings other than him and Shiro. They all had plans for every holiday for the rest of their lives and Keith was just existing. It’s not like he’d never come to this realization, he’d just never had permanent friends that he could base how different he actually was.

“Keith, what about you? Are you going to see your family,” Hunk’s voice suddenly cut through his thoughts. He didn’t know how to answer and he didn’t want his face to give it all away so he stared at his notebook.

“No, I’m staying here for the holidays,” Keith answered slowly, glancing up at them. They took the answer and Keith was relieved.

“You know, we don’t hear a lot about your family dude. Why is that?” Pidge asked curiously. Keith’s head shot up at the question and he tried to come up with a plausible answer but couldn’t.

“Yeah, that is weird,” Hunk added looking just as curious as Pidge. Keith started getting nervous and tried to answer but couldn’t think of anything. He became suddenly aware of everyone’s eyes on him. That didn’t help with him finding a logical answer. His best idea was to run but he didn’t want to be questioned about it later. He hated lying but he hated telling the truth more when it came to questions like these.

“We don’t talk a whole lot,” he answered suddenly, then began packing his things up. “I’m going back to the dorm, I forgot something,”

He left quickly without looking at anyone and hoped no one would follow him.

 

“Did we say something wrong?” Hunk asked watching Keith walk away.

“I think you asked too personal a question,” Shiro answered, “He’ll be fine, he just needs to be alone,”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, working on their individual projects. Even when he was working Lance couldn’t get out of his head the sudden look of terror that crossed Keith’s face. He wanted to know more but he wasn’t close to him enough to ask and Lance hated asking sensitive questions. He especially hated asking Keith questions, he was worried the guy would get mad or stop talking to him altogether. Lance liked him and didn’t want that to happen but it was painfully obvious to Lance that he was hiding something. Lance glanced up and saw that Shiro was watching him, they made eye contact and it was like they understood what the other was thinking. Shiro nodded saying that he was worried too and would find something out.

 

“We’ve been working all day, it’s six already,” Hunk said looking up from his watch. He sighed and rubbed his face. Pidge yawned and closed their laptop.

“I need sleep,” they muttered before picking the computer up and standing. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow before class,”

“Same here, you coming Lance?” Hunk asked looking over at his friend.

“No, I’m gonna stay here for a little bit, I’ll catch up to you though,” Lance answered. Hunk nodded then followed Pidge out.

When they were gone Shiro turned to Lance.

“Everything okay?” he asked raising an eyebrow. Lance looked up and nodded but Shiro wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure? Because you haven’t really been yourself lately? Is it school or something else?”

“It’s probably school. Just so much goddamn homework and after thanksgiving it’ll get worse,” Lance answered leaning back.

“You know, you could try asking Keith. He’d probably help you with some of it,”

It wasn’t a bad suggestion, it just wasn’t the one he thought Shiro would make.

“I’m not a hundred percent sure he likes me that much. Plus, he can be so mean sometimes,”

“Lance, have you considered it’s because you purposely get on his nerves?” Shiro asked crossing his arms. Lance rolled his eyes and mimicked the way Shiro was sitting.

“No, I haven’t and I don’t do it on purpose, he just gets annoyed quickly. You ever noticed that?”

“He only gets annoyed with you, just asking him and maybe you’ll stop being so stressed,” Shiro said sternly before getting up. “Anyway, I’m off to bed, you should be too. You do have class tomorrow that you have to go to,”

Lance got up after him and followed him out.

“What will happen if I don’t go to class?” Lance asked with fake obliviousness

“You’ll be behind in your classes and you’ll fail. If you’re already having issues in class, why would you skip to make things worse?”

“You make a good point but what if I skipped anyway,”

“I would be very upset and disappointed,” Shiro deadpanned. Lance thought for a moment and gave Shiro a sly smile. “What?”

“Have you ever thought about being a dad?” he asked slowly. Shiro’s eyebrows furrowed then went back.

“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it. Why?” he shot back.

“Because I think you need to be thinking about it because whether you like it or not you’re going to be a dad,”

They walked up the stairs to their dorms. Some lights were still on, students probably still doing their homework. The hallway was quiet and dark, it kind of freaked Lance out but he ignored the feeling.

“Lance, what does that even mean?” Shiro asked putting his hand on his dorm room doorknob.

Lance walked to his and did the same.

“It means, you already have four beautiful children, Shiro. And in a few years, you might end up having more because you’d be a great father,” Lance smiled and walked into his dorm without another word. Shiro chuckled and opened the door.

 

Keith had spent the rest of the afternoon in his dorm. He took a small nap and had finished his homework. Before he knew it, he was ready to go to sleep again but he wanted to wait till Shiro came back. He always felt more comfortable when he was around and Keith didn’t understand why.

When the door behind him opened he looked over to see Shiro come in smiling. He shut the door behind him and sat down on his bed heavily.

“How’s it going on the homework?” he asked looking over at Keith, who was sitting at his desk.

“I finished it a little bit ago. You?” Keith replied turning in his chair completely.

“I’m close but not quite, I still have a few essay’s to do but those aren’t due for a while,”

Keith nodded and turned back to his book.

He should tell Shiro but he didn’t want to be questioned. He wasn’t quite sure if he was hiding it because he didn’t want to be reminded of it or if he was embarrassed about it. He never really talked about it with someone before and it made him nervous.

“Keith, something wrong?” Shiro asked looking over. Keith turned around to look at Shiro, who was watching him with a concerned look.

He stared at Shiro, he wanted to tell him because out of all of them he knew Shiro would listen and comfort. It wasn’t that Keith needed comfort but he wanted someone to listen. Not just about this but about everything else. Even the other foster kids had someone, he was always by himself because he didn’t like talking to strangers. He trusted Shiro and he knew he might feel better after he talked about it.

“Can I tell you something?” Keith answered suddenly. Shiro nodded and moved closer on the bed.

“You can talk to me about anything,” he replied. Keith took a deep breath and started.


	5. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first I want to formally apologize for this chapter. I'm sorry I was so late for posting it, this one was hard to write. I also want to kind of warn everyone that this chapter deals with some touchy stuff such as abuse. While I don't go into detail, I do want you to be warned just in case.  
> Thank you for the comments and the support, keep them coming because I love it.  
> Also sorry it's so short, I wanted this to be just about Keith's life before college.

“The reason I can’t go home for Thanksgiving or for Christmas or for any other break is because I don’t really have anywhere to go. It’s kind of hard to explain but I don’t really have a home and I don’t really have parents,” Keith said calmly. He didn’t look up at Shiro, instead he looked at his hands.

“You don’t have parents? Meaning you’re-” Shiro started.

“An orphan, yes. While I’ve never met my parents nor any family I have, I did arrive in America with a name and was put in the foster system as a baby,” Keith finished, he didn’t want to look up but he knew he would have to at some point.

“What do you mean arrived in America?”

“I’m Korean. Well, that’s what I’ve been led to believe for the last 19 years. I don’t know anything about my family. I don’t even know if they’re alive honestly,” he glanced up at Shiro’s expression of complete and utter surprise. Keith watched as he sat there understanding and repeating everything in his head. Keith figured he shouldn’t have said anything and he was about to tell Shiro to forget all of it but Shiro looked up at him.

“Have you ever tried contacting them? If you came with a last name shouldn’t you be able to find some part of your family?” Shiro asked his voice serious.

“I don’t want to and I’ve never wanted to because it’s obvious that they didn’t want to know me, they didn’t want anything to do with me and that’s fine. But I’ve never wanted to track them down and tell them I’m the son they gave up. That just never interested me,” Keith answered honestly. He didn’t, he had the idea when he turned 18, he wanted to go see if he could find his family but he finally decided it wasn’t worth it. He didn’t hate them, he just didn’t want to meet them.

“You were never adopted?” Shiro asked suddenly. Keith hesitated but figured he might as well tell the whole story.

“I’ve been with some families but something always happened and they always took me back,” He paused for a second. “That sounded like I was a dog or something, sorry. But yeah, I’ve been in and out of homes and it’s just been hard. I didn’t know how to tell you guys so I didn’t. It’s not because I don’t like you it’s just because you’re really the first friends I’ve had so I didn’t want to ruin it,”

He looked down quickly and occupied himself with his hands. Avoiding Shiro’s eyes again.

“You’ve never had friends?”

“Not really. Like I’ve had like people that I would talk to occasionally but I mostly just kept to myself,” Keith took a deep breath and continued talking, “I didn’t really like people honestly. See when I was younger it made sense, I was just angry cause I would go to school and there would be kids talking about their parents. But when I got older it affected me worse almost. I started to think it was me, like that’s why I couldn’t make friends and why I didn’t have parents. Because I was too unlikeable and even the families that took me in thought the same, that’s why they didn’t keep me. And by the time it got to the last family, I was tired of it all,”

Shiro watched him carefully, he didn’t say anything because he worried Keith would stop. But he worried more when he started shaking. He wasn’t crying, just shaking like he was scared. Even then Shiro stayed quiet and waited patiently for him to continue.

“I still don’t fully remember everything that led up to it, I just remember what happened that day. I don’t know, I was just 17 and I was sent to Georgia to live with a family. They were nice when we met, the mother was sweet, called me son which made me feel better almost. I felt apart of the family already which wasn’t something that happened often when I went to homes. They had two boys already. Both older than me by about two years. They hated me from the beginning, I know why but why they had to tell me was beyond me but it was almost everyday. I was there for almost a month. I don’t even remember their names, I remember their faces though but nothing else,” He paused again. He worried that if he kept telling it he might cry, he didn’t want to do that. He was about to tell Shiro to forget that he said anything but he hesitated when Shiro put a hand on his knee making him look up.

“It’s okay, keep going,” Shiro whispered soothing, then pulled his hand back. He cared, he wanted to know and to listen, this was such a weird experience for Keith but he continued.

“It started when one day when I guess I pissed one of the sons off. He burned me with cigarette but it only happened once after the first time and I didn’t tell anyone because I was worried about what would happen. It’s not even like the parents were around a lot and the dad was a horrible alcoholic but he loved his two sons and didn’t much care for me. The mom was barely around and it wasn’t like I was about to tell her what happened because again I worried about what would happen. This went on for about a week or two, I still didn’t say anything. On one of the last nights I was there the dad came home super drunk and angry and he threw a bottle at my head. It nearly knocked me out but after that I tried to make my presence scarce to the rest of the family. I thought that maybe when the mom was home she’d stop it but not even that helped. And I guess after years and years of getting bullied by kids at school, listening to them talk down to me, listening to couples that came to the foster agency talk down to me or treat me like a charity case piled up because the last night I was there, and the reason I left was because I tried to..um..” He couldn’t say it. He was going to cry, he’d never talked about this. Not even to the doctors. Half the time he forgot about it because he didn’t want to, but it always came back to him somehow. Whether it was a dream or just whenever he stopped thinking for too long and let his mind wander. It always came back and he would be forced to forget it all over again, just for it to turn back around and resurface two days later. But it was that one day in between that made him feel better, made him feel normal.

He could feel the tears welling just thinking about it, it was like he was reliving it again and he wanted to stop but he’d made the commitment to go this far. He tried not to look at Shiro but instead opted to look past him.

Shiro must’ve sensed how upset Keith was getting because he calmly prompted him to continue.

“Go on, you don’t have to say it just continue from there,” he spoke quietly, it calmed Keith’s nerves and made him feel safe almost. Like just his voice assured Keith that no judgement existed and Shiro just wanted to listen to him. He took a deep breath started again, skipping the bad part.

“After that I don’t really remember what happened. I just woke up in the hospital and was asked questions then I was taken back to the foster agency. I never saw the family again and I didn’t really care. I hated them, I hated everything and two months later when I turned 18, I left. I told the agency I was headed for California and I’ve never looked back. I don’t talk about it a lot because it’s just not something I want to remember. I’m embarrassed about it, honestly and I don’t know how people will react when I tell them because I don’t want to be pitied anymore. I don’t want to know people are walking on eggshells around me. That’s why I didn’t tell you,” Keith finished finally. He felt better by talking about it but he also felt bad for saying everything. His eyes flicked down to look at Shiro, who was deep in thought again. It made Keith nervous a little, he wanted to know what he was thinking.

“I’m really glad you talked about it, Keith. It’s better when you talk about it and are able to get passed all of it. I’m really sorry you had to go through that,” Shiro said finally. He stood up, walked over to Keith and hugged him. At first Keith was surprised, but then started to feel comfortable and he worried again that he might start crying. He hugged back and relaxed, he hadn’t realised how tense he was. He didn’t cry but he hadn’t realised he was shaking so bad.

Shiro hugged him until he stopped and then sat down in his desk chair.

“Could you not tell the others? It’s nothing against them, I just don’t want to be asked about it,” Keith asked quietly. Shiro nodded silently.

“I won’t say anything until you’re ready,” Shiro assured him giving him a small smile. “You should probably get to bed. You have class in the morning and so do I,”

He sighed and stood up, Keith following after him. When they got into bed and turned the lights out, Keith heard Shiro chuckle.

“What?” he asked curious. He turned over to face Shiro’s bed.

“At least Lance was right about one thing,” he answered a bit of laughter in his voice.

“Really, he was right about something? What was it?”

“I really am a dad. To all of you,”

Keith turned onto his back to look at the ceiling. He looked at how there was a soft glow from the street lamps outside but still the room seemed so dark. He thought about how light his chest felt now, like the brick that had been laying on it for years was finally taken off and he could breathe again.

“Well, you’re the best dad I’ve ever had,” Keith muttered hoping Shiro didn’t hear him, but he still heard the small laugh and sigh.

“Good night, Keith,” he said finally and when Keith closed his eyes, he wasn’t worried anymore.


	6. Lance

He woke up late. Well, later than usual, and he knew this because Shiro was already up. While they both woke up early, Keith was normally the first one up, most of the time because of his dreams, and Shiro would wake up about a half hour later. But today, Shiro was wide awake at his desk. Keith guessed it was around eight, when he checked and found that he was right he almost panicked.

“Shit, are we late for class?” he asked suddenly but Shiro didn’t even move from his small study session.

“No, he called off the class, you’re next one should be in about an hour though,” Shiro answered still not looking over. “You slept well though, I see?”

He phrased it like a question but it really wasn’t. He was just being polite, Keith was used to that. He liked that about Shiro.

“Yeah, feels like the first time in a while,” Keith yawned and sat up. He felt gross, like he’d slept in a puddle of dirty water. He looked down at his blankets, it wasn’t water but there was some drool.

He groaned and stood slowly, rubbing his face, even his hair felt greasy.

“I need to take a shower, I’ll be back,” Keith muttered before rummaging through his closet, grabbing some clothes. He just wanted them to be clean.

The showers were surprisingly empty so Keith was able to relax. This was his least favourite part about college so far. He didn’t like having other people around especially in the bathroom. So he always woke up early enough when no one else was awake yet and by the time he was done, Lance would come in after him. He tried to time it so he left before Lance got there, who always came in around six. Sometimes, he would come in early Keith would try to hurry his way out to avoid any awkwardness.

He assumed everyone at a class or anywhere other than the dorms, which he wasn’t going to complain about. He preferred being alone at this time, gave him time to think. Right now he was thinking about last night, about all that he said. Part of him still wished he hadn’t said anything, another part of him was glad he did. It was always his least favourite thing when his brain didn’t agree.

He wondered if Shiro remembered everything. He was kind of happy Shiro hadn’t asked any questions. He always worried people would ask questions, he worried more about what the questions would be. One that the doctors had asked was one he couldn’t really answer, that was because he really didn’t know the answer. The question was if he’d ever try again, his answer was that he didn’t know and he left it at that. He really didn’t, he didn’t expect it to happen the first time so how would he know if it would happen again. To be honest, he doubted it because even just looking at his wrist makes his stomach turn and his heart hurt but that could’ve just been the memories that came with the scars. So he wore his jacket to keep them hidden, from both himself and everyone else.

He felt better after the shower, it helped clear his head a little bit. He stopped thinking about it all, he always did when he took a shower. He quickly dried off and got dressed. He dried out his hair but didn’t feel like brushing it so he put it quickly into a ponytail.

When he got to the dorm, it was empty. He assumed Shiro had gone to class because his books were gone. Keith gathered his stuff into his bag and headed to the library where the other’s would be.

He looked up at the sky while he walked, he felt like it was going rain but the sky didn’t look that way. He’d always liked when it rained, it meant staying inside and watching tv by himself. It was always a comfort and he wasn’t sure why. He’s just always liked the rain, made him comfortable and happy and had often calmed his anxiety.

When he walked into the library it was just Lance and Pidge, they looked like they were in the middle of a serious conversation.

“Morning, guys,” Keith said before sitting down, pulling out a book. Pidge looked over and gave a small smile. Lance just stared at him in confusion.

“Good morning,” Pidge said with fake joy.

“Your hair is in a ponytail,” Lance stated but Pidge and Keith ignored him.

“Did you finish that essay for tech class yet?” Keith asked looking over at Pidge. They shook their head and pointed at their laptop.

“I’ve been avoiding it, I know computers but I don’t like writing about the ins and outs of one,” They answered.

“You’re hair is long enough to be in a ponytail,” Lance pointed out, again they ignored him.

“I finished mine last night, it’s actually really easy after a while,”

“Yeah I know, I mean how hard can writing an essay be, it’s just hard because I know everything but can’t put all of it in cause the stupid word limit,” 

“A ponytail, Keith,” Lance continued.

“Shit, I forgot the word limit, I’m gonna have to rewrite,” Keith moaned wiping a hand across his face.

“Did you get the rest of your homework done?” Pidge asked, their tone serious. Keith sighed and nodded.

“Cut your damn hair man, it’s in a ponytail,” Lance yelled suddenly.

“Oh my god, Lance, I know, I got it. Yes, it fits in a pony tail and the only reason it’s in one right now is because I didn’t feel like brushing it today. No, I’m not going to cut it, I like it longer,” Keith yelled back angry and annoyed. Lance looked offended for a minute.

“It’s a mullet, Keith, only creepy old men have mullets or some like backwoods weirdo,” Lance snapped back.

“Generalizing, Lance, watch it,” Pidge warned, they didn’t look up from their work.

“So what if it looks like that, Lance? Why do you care? It’s my hair, you don’t own me,” Keith fumed glaring at Lance, who paused before he said anything.

“Because I don’t like it, it’s just dumb,” he answered finally crossing his arms like a child. Keith sighed and stood up.

“Whatever, I got to get to class,” he stated before walking away.

Lance stared after him, both confused and angry.

“You’re gonna have to apologize,” Pidge muttered still not looking up.

Lance looked down at his homework spread in front of him.

“Are you gonna make me?” Lance asked childishly. Pidge sighed and moved around her things before answering.

“No, but if you don’t, I’m going to tell dad. And you won’t like what happens after that,” Pidge threatened, smiling a little. Lance looked at her, scared and hurt.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Pidge looked up suddenly, their expression dead serious.

“Oh, I would because if there’s one thing I know the most about Shiro it’s that he only cares about three things so much that he would kill to protect. Those things are: his cat, me and now Keith. And why are you so mean to him?” Pidge stopped and looked at Lance for a minute.

“I’m not mean to him,” Lance said shrilly.

“Yes, you are, I mean maybe mean isn’t the correct term for it but you annoy him. Like a lot, and he gets this face that like anytime you speak it’s almost like anyone can tell that he wants you to stop. But you correct him all the time, you pick on him about the smallest things, you annoy him. It’s weird man, because while you annoy the rest of us all the time it’s different with Keith,” Pidge finished by sitting back and crossing their arms.

“How is it different? I’m equally annoying to everyone,” Lance defended.

“You go out of your way with him. What’s the deal man? Do you hate him? Do you not want him around or is it something else?” Pidge made a weird face at the last part making Lance scowl.

Pidge shrugged at Lance and continued, “Whatever it is, you two are going to have to figure it out and yes, Lance that means talking about it to him. Besides the poor guy likes you so much, you’ve got to talk to him, without yelling. Preferably,” Pidge turned back to her homework, signaling the conversation was done.

“What do you mean he likes me?”

“Oh, Lance, it’s like you’re so blind to other people’s affection when you show just as much,” Pidge chuckled. “He’s got a huge crush on you but you’re so mean and annoying that he hides it. And I know you like him to but you don’t want to admit it yet because you have issues,”

“I don’t like Keith, trust me, not like that at least,”

“The kiss said otherwise, though,” Pidge muttered under their breath but nevertheless Lance heard it and panicked.

“Wait, you saw that?” Lance asked. Pidge stared up at him, their expression dead serious.

“Oh, I saw it, we all saw it. We saw who started it and we saw who got a little too into it,” Pidge joked. “Trust me, that wasn’t just a drunk kiss. That was an unsaid emotion kiss that he played off as a drunk kiss cause you were so angry the next morning. You’ve got to talk to him before I talk to Shiro and he’ll sit you both down and make you talk,”

“Fine, I’ll talk to him after class tonight,” Lance surrendered finally. He wanted to talk to Keith but he was really scared to.

“And be nice, please. The kid looks like he’s got some damage, he doesn’t need anymore,” Pidge’s voice signaled that the conversations was over and final.

They worked on their homework in silence. Lance tried to rehearse what he was going to say to Keith in his head but everything he thought sounded too mean. Finally, he stopped trying and got up to go to his next class.

Lance waited outside the psych classroom for Keith for only a few minutes before he came out.

“You know you don’t have to walk me to class everyday, I just needed it for like the first week or so to know where I’m going. It’s second semester, I think I’m fine,” Keith said when they started towards history.

“I figured I’d stick around just in case. Don’t want you getting lost,” Lance joked back. He saw Keith roll his eyes and give a small smile.

“I just said that I won’t,”

“I worry about you though, you’re very absent minded,”

“Lance, that’s you,” Keith said after a pause. Lance just shrugged gave a small smile.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Lance wanted the whole time to come out and talk to Keith like Pidge said but he didn’t know when the best time was and before he knew it, it was too late. They were standing outside the classroom and Lance followed Keith to the back. Lance barely paid attention to anything the teacher said, still rehearsing the way he wanted the conversation with Keith to go and what he wanted to say. He worried about what Keith would do. He also worried what he would say.

Lance was never good with talking to people about serious things. He didn’t like talking to people about important things. He just preferred to leave it alone until it worked itself out and normally it did. This was uncharted territory to him. He was emotional but not good at talking about it all the time.

When the class was over, Lance followed Keith to the food court. Lance was worried that his opportunity to talk was getting away too quickly. He needed to say something before they met the rest of the group.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance blurted suddenly. Keith stopped and turned towards him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Keith asked walking an inch closer. Lance was suddenly really panicky, his heart was pounding.

“I just wanted to know...ummm...if you, if I uh annoyed you or something,” Lance stuttered over the sentence and was aware of how much Keith was staring at him.

“Lance, why are you asking this?”

“Because Pidge said I annoyed you and that it was very obvious and I wanted to know if it’s true. I also would like to know if you hate me,” Keith sighed a bit and thought about what to say next.

“Lance, I don’t hate you, I mean hate is a strong word. But you do annoy me but not more than usual and I don’t know what Pidge told you but some of it might not be true. It’s just I’ve never had to deal with someone like you. So, I guess I’m sorry for making it seem like I don’t like you,” Keith answered finally. His voice sounded tired.

“So you like me?” Lance asked

“Yeah, I guess. Takes a while for me to get used to you but yeah, I like you,”

“Do you like, really like me?” Keith scowled and looked confused.

“What are we in grade school now? What are you saying?” Keith asked, Lance suppressed a flinch, he sounded angry almost.

“Do you like have a crush on me?” Lance asked quietly, glancing up at Keith, who looked suddenly pale.

“Lance, I don’t feel like talking about this right now, okay? I’m gonna go and you just tell Pidge and Hunk I’ll see them for tech,” Keith answered his voice soft and barely a whisper. He turned on his heel and walked quickly away. Lance called after him but Keith didn’t turn around or anything, he just kept walking.

Lance continued walking to the cafeteria and found the other three sitting at a table. Shiro and Pidge were talking about the book they were reading and Hunk was scrolling through his phone. Lance sat down quietly and started to eat his food.

“Hey, where’s Keith?” Hunk asked not looking away from his screen.

“He wanted to go on a walk, he’s been pretty stressed lately,” Lance lied.

Hunk nodded and didn’t press but just went back to his phone. Lance tried not to think about what Pidge had told him and how Keith looked when he’d asked him. He wanted to talk to Keith and explain but he didn’t know the best time. And he hated being serious about things.


	7. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, but thank you to everyone who's been reading and been so patient with me. Hopefully, I'll get better at updating more frequently.

“Hunk, focus,” Pidge said for the third time. Hunk had been admiring something Pidge had brought with them while he was supposed to be helping with the project. They were in tech class working on the latest project that Keith barely understood. He’d been trying to pay attention to what they were talking about but he kept getting distracted by what Lance had said earlier.

“Hey, have you guys noticed how awkward Lance has been around me today?” Keith asked suddenly. Hunk looked up from the weird machine like thing and shrugged.

“I noticed something was off when he came into lunch without you and didn’t give a reason. Plus he’s been really quiet but I think that’s because of his trip back home,”

“What do you mean?” Keith asked curiously.

“Lance hasn’t had good standing with some of his family since he came out. Some of them aren’t very nice when he visits and some are a little too nosey in his life. His parents accept him though and his siblings so most of the time he’s fine. It’s his aunts and uncles and shit that really hurt him about it,” Hunk answered looking back down and turning the thing around in his hands.

“Wait, what?” Keith stopped and looked at Hunk and Pidge confused.

“Lance is bi,” Pidge said simply. Hunk nodded in agreement.

“How did I not know this?”

“Because he’s been dating Nyma for too long. He’ll make jokes about it sometimes but I guess he’s never like openly said he is to you,” Pidge paused then looked over at Keith and winked, “So you have a chance,”

“Whoa, what?” Hunk asked looking up, he had a smile that was growing.

“No, it’s not like that, I don’t. No,” Keith defended quickly. Pidge chuckled to their computer screen.

“Yeah, sure,”

“Dude, do you though? Like really? That’d be so cute,” Hunk joked.

“Hunk, stop,” Keith said putting his head in his hands, then he looked at Pidge, “Wait, did you tell him I liked him?”

“You weren’t going to, someone had to. I can’t deal with the sexual tension between you two anymore,” Pidge muttered to the computer screen.

Keith groaned and laid his head on his arms on the table.

“Why is it so bad for you to like him though? You guys would be nice together, he’s energetic and you’re calm. Perfect love story right there,” Pidge asked scrunching their face in confusion.

“I’ve known Lance like almost my whole life, he’s always had like the worst relationships especially with girls. I think he likes you and I can tell because he’s actually really easy to read. He gets nervous easily and won’t stop moving because not saying anything to the person agitates him. And he avoids them. Not like their existence but he won’t look at them, he won’t talk to them directly. You know, like a teenage boy does,” Hunk added quietly. Pidge looked over at Keith with an expectant look.

“Does he do all of that?” they asked and Keith thought back.

Lance had never really actually looked straight at him since the first time he saw him, he always thought it was just the way he was. Lance was also always fidgety and Keith assumed that was the way Lance always was.

Keith shrugged instead of answering because he knew and he didn’t want to. He also knew that Pidge and Hunk knew and he didn’t like that at all.

“Don’t talk to him, please? I don’t want him to act any weirder because I told him I don’t and I want to keep it that way,” Keith all but begged them. Pidge’s smile was sinister and it made Keith groan angrily.

“We promise we won’t tell him,” Hunk said nicely. Keith sighed and went back to his computer screen to read the time. Two more minutes.

“Yeah, I can see your crossed fingers, Hunk” Keith muttered getting a chuckle from both of them.

“Alright, we got nothing done today, again,” Pidge said logging out of the computer. Keith and Hunk both agreed, packing up their stuff. “I’ll try finishing it tonight but I don’t know guys, we need to actually start working. It’s due next week,”

“Ugh, but I hate work when it’s boring shit like this,” Hunk complained.

“Yeah, me too, dude but we have to sadly,” Pidge grumbled. They stood when the bell rang and headed for their next class. Pidge branched off towards their own class, while Keith and Hunk continued together.

“I can’t believe two of my friends like each other and they didn’t know it. And this is good because Nyma was so terrible to him that he deserves someone like you finally,” Hunk was saying as they walked.

Keith just gave him a small smile and stayed quiet. He didn’t want to tell Hunk now that he had no intention of acting on this crazy fairy-tale of a crush. Lance had already made it clear that he didn’t like him and that they were just friends, and Keith was fine with keeping it that way. But Hunk and Pidge’s optimism made him want to try but nothing ever went right when he wanted it to and losing Lance as a friend wasn’t high on his list of mess ups.

Hunk kept talking and Keith tried to pay attention but he stayed quiet until they met Lance outside of Keith’s linguistics class.

“Alright, Hunk, I’ll see you later buddy,” Keith smiled waving as Hunk continued down the hall.

“Hunk is in a talkative mood today, I love that about him,” Lance said. Keith scoffed and walked into the classroom.

“Cause he’s just like you? Yeah I figured that’s why you guys were friends,” Keith smirked sitting down in their usual spot. Lance followed, smiling slightly and thinking of a smart comeback.

“Yeah but you like Hunk,” Lance finally answered.

“I never said I didn’t like you, you’re just different than I’m used to,” Keith explained. Lance pointed at him and his smile grew.

“See you admit that while you enjoy my company, I make you angry,”

“I did not say that,”

“It was implied,” Lance joked before turning to the front as the teacher stood up.

The class was short and while Lance insisted on talking through half the hour. Honestly, Keith hadn’t paid attention to anything he said, he was thinking about what Hunk and Pidge had said.

When the bell finally rang, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Lance standing up.

“Alright, I’ll see you after your next class?” he asked as they walked out.

“Ah, maybe. I might take a walk though,” Keith answered. He liked walking around campus and it started to be in nightly routine. Plus everything was quieter and calmer at night.

Lance’s face dropped for a second after Keith said that, it was so quick he almost didn’t catch it.

“Ah okay,” Lance said before waving and walking away down the hall.

Keith headed towards physics but something didn’t feel right. He didn’t have time to think about it before he made it to class.

He couldn’t focus in there anyway, he kept thinking back to Lance’s reaction. It was like Keith had rejected him but he didn’t know how. Maybe he’d missed something, something that Lance was trying to say but Keith didn’t pick up. Maybe his tone was a little off, he didn’t want to come off as angry towards Lance because he wasn’t. He needed to talk to him but couldn’t find the right time and he really didn’t know what to say.

When class let out, Shiro stopped him for walking away too quickly.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What’s going on with you?” he asked concerned, looking for an answer in Keith’s face.

“Nothing, everything is fine,” Keith lied but Shiro picked up on it, unfortunately.

“Look, since you’ve gone your whole life without someone to listen, you probably don’t know how to talk about a lot of things openly. But, Keith, you know I will. I told you I would,” he sounded sincere and Keith thought it was for the best.

“Pidge and Hunk got into my head about Lance,” he admitted.

“What about him?”

“They said that he may or may not like me and I don’t know, it kind of worries me,” Keith muttered the last part. Shiro smiled slightly before going back to his normal straight face.

“Why are you worried though?”

“I feel like he’s going to want to talk about it and like you said, I’ve never had to do that so I don’t know how to talk to him and how did my life become so middle school?” Keith asked all at once, making Shiro outwardly laugh.

Shiro started walking towards the cafeteria and Keith fell next to him.

“Well, sadly that’s what you deal with when you have Pidge and Hunk rooting for you. My best advice would be just tell him and tell him when you’re alone. Be honest because he reacts better to that. You’ll never know how someone feels until you ask. And you’ll never know how someone feels until you ask them sincerely and without judgement. If his answer is something you weren’t expecting, then find me and you can talk about it,”

“Shiro, do you have any siblings?” Keith asked suddenly.

“No, why do you ask?” Shiro responded.

“No reason, it’s just if I had one, I’d want it to be you,”

Shiro smiled and put his arm around Keith’s shoulders.

“And I would love to have a little brother just like you, but no brother of mine would have such a horrible mullet. I mean c’mon, that’s so 80’s,”

“I happen to like it actually, thank you,”

“But a pony tail, really?”

Keith pushed his arm off his shoulder jokingly. Shiro laughed while Keith took his hair out.

“I’ll cut it sometime while you’re asleep,” Shiro mumbled.

They’d made it to the cafeteria and Keith hadn’t even noticed, he was too distracted by the conversation.

“Your parents seem nice, it would be a shame that the first time I formally meet them, it’s at your funeral,” Keith joked back and Shiro looked at him surprised.

“Was that a threat, young man?” he retorted. Keith gave him a small smirk.

“What’s happening?” Pidge asked when they made it to the table. Hunk and Pidge had taken over the table and Lance was stuck with eating out of his lap, which didn’t look comfortable.

“Looks like we should be asking that. What are you two doing?” Shiro asked looking around at all the papers. Pidge looked offended when they looked up at him, almost like Shiro should’ve known what they were doing.

“Studying, you know like normal college students do. What were you and Keith fighting about?” Pidge asked in response.

“Nothing, can we have the table as well or no?”

“I guess, if you have to,” Pidge said moving papers into separate piles. Keith sat back and started to think back to what Pidge and Hunk had said about Lance.

He knew that if he kept thinking about it, he’d start overthinking and get paranoid. He wished they hadn’t said anything to him. He didn’t like this, because he was expecting something that wasn’t going to happen. Because he was listening to other people instead of going to the source and slowly this was making him uneasy. He needed to go walk around, he needed to be alone so he could think of anything other than Lance.

“I’m going to go walk for a little bit. See you back at the dorm,” He said to Shiro as he stood up and grabbed his bag.

“Don’t come back with a pony tail,” Shiro chuckled. Keith smirked and walked away.

He ended up back at the side of the woods where he’d met Allura. He sat down at the bench a few feet away and just watched birds hunt and squirrels run around. He liked times like this, when it was just him and he didn’t have to focus on something, he could just watch life happen.

As it got darker he started looking at the stars instead. They slowly started appearing as the sun went down. He always liked looking at the stars, he always like space. When he was little he wanted to go into space or at least learn more about it. He always thought about being an astrophysicist but he always worried he would never be smart enough, there was always that little voice. He learned all the constellations when he was younger and could name them easily.

Some of the families encouraged him when he said that’s what he wanted to do and even bought him books specifically about how rockets worked in case he decided to be an engineer instead of an astronaut or physicist. He dreamed of living in the stars one day and always had dreams of flying around space like in the movies and shows he would watch. Now that he was older he thought more practically but he still held onto those small dreams of his.

“Hey, Keith,” someone said next to him making his heart skip and flinch. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I thought you could hear me coming,”

It was Lance, Keith realized and calmed a little. He nodded and Lance sat down next to him. Keith went back to looking at the night sky.

“It’s fine, I’ve just been thinking,” Keith finally said and he could see Lance nodding in his peripheral.

They were quiet for a few moments, both thinking of something to say to each other but it wasn’t awkward. It was calm, they didn’t need to speak, they just wanted to but they both didn’t know what to say first or who would say something first.

“You’ve been gone a while and Shiro sent me to find you. I figured you’d be here,” Lance admitted finally breaking the silence. Keith let out a huff that could’ve been a laugh.

“I haven’t been gone that long,” he answered. This time Lance let out a small laugh and looked over at him.

“You’ve been gone for hours, dude. We were worried you’d been stolen or something,”

“Really?” Keith asked surprised.

“Yes, really, Shiro was the most worried but I knew where you were so I didn’t see the worry,”

“Yeah, you said that already, how did you know where I was?” Keith asked looking expectantly at Lance, who shrugged and looked back up.

“I stalk you when I get bored, you go to some really weird places,” Lance said blatantly.

“You know, you’re not actually supposed to say that to the person you’re stalking, it tends to creep them out a bit,”

“Well, I didn’t really read the manual on stalking, so how would I know that,” Lance retorted jokingly, making Keith smile.

“Well, obviously,”

They went silent again for a few minutes, both thinking about who would speak. Again, it wasn’t awkward, it’s just that they both knew the unspoken things between them and neither wanted to say it.

Keith broke the silence this time. He didn’t look over at Lance while he spoke, he watched the stars, blinking and followed a line that made the big dipper.

“Have you ever thought about living in space?” Keith asked. There was a pause then Lance answered.

“Sometimes, I like to think about it,” another pause, “Why? Do you?”

“Used to, when I was little. I wanted to be like that guy from Firefly but instead of doing illegal things, I just flew around and met new creatures,. You know, dumb kid shit,”

“I don’t think that’s dumb actually but I would personally want to do the illegal things. Surprised you wouldn’t,” Lance muttered the last part and shrugged when Keith looked over at him with feigned offence. Keith went back to the stars after a minute.

“I would do a little bit but not enough to have a bounty on me,”

“Oh, please, you’re saying you wouldn’t want to be on the Universe’s most wanted list? Everything in the galaxies across the universe would know you’re name and while you would have people chasing you, having little alien kids hear about you and want to be like you some day. You wouldn’t want that kind of fame?” Lance asked honestly and Keith shook his head.

“No, that sounds like more your speed,”

“What does that mean?” Lance asked confused.

“Well, you like attention, even when you say you don’t, you do. And it’s not bad because that’s just you, you want someone to look up to you and you wanted to be that kind of person. Again not a bad thing, it’s just more you and less me,”

“Would you want to be a team?” Lance asked suddenly and then continued at Keith’s sideways glance and eyebrow raise. “You know, like you’re the pilot of the ship and you do the trading and shit and I steal things from bad people and help the innocent ones. I’m wanted and you’re my innocent friend and getaway driver. We could have a great bromance,”

“Bromance,” Keith muttered and he saw Lance nod. “It’d be interesting definitely. As long as I don’t go to space prison for it,”

“Of course not, we’ll always act like you’re my hostage but you have to break me out if I ever go in. You can’t just leave me, orange ain’t my color,” Lance requested and Keith shrugged.

“I’ll think about it,” Keith said looking blankly at the stars. His mind wandered and he wondered if he should asked Lance now. He didn’t want to but the silence was back and he figured it was now or never.

“I’m talking to Nyma again,” Lance said suddenly and Keith went numb.

It was so sudden and surprising that he didn’t know what to say but he shouldn’t have said what he did.

“Why would you do that?” he blurted and waited for Lance to get mad but he didn’t look fazed.

“That’s what Hunk said when I told him earlier. The answer is I don’t know. She texted me last night and said she missed me and wanted another chance at us. That she could look past my mistakes like I did with her. She said she wouldn’t cheat again,”

“Lance, I know it’s not my place but I think she’s lying to you. I think she’ll do it again and yeah I might be wrong but people don’t just change so suddenly. I think you need to think this through before you jump back into it,” Keith advised and Lance nodded slowly but still didn’t get mad.

“I know. That’s the thing, is I know but everytime I think ‘what if’ and get back with her. I love her, Keith and I don’t want to give up so easily,”

“But Lance, she doesn’t love you. Not the way you love her, she loves that you let her do this. She loves that after she sleeps with him, you’re still there to give her the attention he didn’t. You’re still there to gush over her. She doesn’t see you as a boyfriend, she sees you as an attention ATM,”

“I know,” Lance said quietly and Keith was getting progressively angry on Lance’s behalf. He didn’t understand why Lance was acting like this. Why Lance would still do this to himself. Why Lance was seeing the obvious signs in front of him.

“If you know then why do you continue to do this to yourself?” Keith asked trying to control himself.

“Because again, I love her and I want to make it work. I know it’s dumb and I don’t expect you to understand,”

“No, Lance, I don’t because I’ve never insisted on being with someone when I know damn well they don’t feel the same. I’ve never insisted on being with someone when I know there’s someone who could do better. I’ve never insisted on making things work when I know there’s someone who already loves you just because you’re you and not because you give them attention like Nyma does. I don’t understand because I’ve never been in the situation where I pick the girl who cheats on me and uses me. Where I ignore the guy who obviously cares more about me than himself. I’ve never had that problem, Lance, and I’m not going to sit and watch as you continue to drown just to keep her afloat. Because I love you but I can’t continue to watch you destroy yourself for her,” Keith finished then looked over at Lance who looked surprised.

Keith hadn’t realized everything that he’d said and suddenly he didn’t want to be here anymore. He didn’t want to exist in this place anymore and he wanted to run. He felt like crying and he didn’t know why.

“Keith-” Lance started but Keith was too worried and angry that he cut him off by standing up.

“I don’t want to hear it, Lance. Have a great vacation,” he growled before stomping off and leaving Lance sitting there alone, still awestruck at what Keith admitted.

He walked back to the dorm and ignored Shiro’s frantic questions. Instead he climbed into bed and tried to sleep.


	8. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the long update, I'll try to update more often but sometimes things just get too crazy and I forget that I need to write sometimes. But thank you for the support. Enjoy, friends!

It’d been a month since Keith and Lance talked again. They didn’t fully avoid each other, for the group’s sake, but they didn’t speak or participate in group conversations together. They didn’t talk to each other in class and didn’t walk together to lunch or to classes.

The rest of the group had noticed but never said anything because when they did they never got a real answer.

“I just didn’t feel like participating in the conversation,” Keith answered Shiro when asked why he didn’t join an important group conversation at lunch one day.

“But it was about one of your favourite stories, I figured you would’ve wanted to,” Shiro had asked again but he only got a shrug before Keith walked away and that was that.

They stopped bringing it up but instead tried to get them to speak to each other by accident.

“Keith, Lance mentioned the other day that he thought you were doing better in your history class, weren’t you Lance?” Pidge nudged but Keith and just made a grunt like noise and Lance stayed quiet. Then they’d both gotten up and walked away in separate directions.

That ended too and they were out of options.

“We could talk to them and make them talk about what’s wrong,” Hunk suggested.

“Ah, no because that would piss them off and I’m not getting punched by Keith,” Pidge replied with crossed arms.

“I doubt he’d actually hit you,”

“Well, it’s not worth risking. We just need to let them get over it naturally. We need to stop making them talk and just ignore it. Whatever the problem is, they’ll get over it quickly,” Shiro advised not looking up from the book he was reading. He was only half listening at this point.

Pidge and Hunk considered his option for a few minutes, before it was vetoed and they kept trying to find ideas. After about an hour and a half, they gave up. Part of it was because Keith had suddenly appeared and joined them.

He sat down with a huff and threw his bag on the ground, he seemed angry. Pidge and Hunk shared a look and tried to urge the other to ask why, Hunk lost.

“Is something wrong, Keith? Possibly something to do with a certain person?” he asked trying to get him to talk. Keith just sighed and looked over at them, they all noticed the circles under his eyes but didn’t say anything.

“No I’m fine, just haven’t been sleeping,” Keith answered yawning. His eyes looked vacant almost, like he wasn’t all the way there yet.

“Yeah, why haven’t you been? No offense but you look like shit” Pidge asked and Keith just shrugged because he agreed.

“I just haven’t been able to lately. I went to sleep late so I could finish homework and then I can’t really sleep when I try to,”

“You probably need to see someone about that if it continues. Thankfully, you're keeping up in your homework so we know you're not failing,” Hunk pointed out happily. Pidge lightly rolled her eyes and moved on.

“So would you have enough energy to go to a party tonight?” They asked slyly looking up at him.

“Yeah, I guess. Sounds great,” Keith said half awake.

“Do you really think a party is a good idea? You were just complaining about not getting enough sleep,” Shiro commented, it was obvious that he didn’t approve.

“A night for him to relax and just chill out would be great. And you can come to make sure none of us get hurt,” Pidge said trying to convince him.

“As long as there are no more keg stands,”

“Promise, we’ll just have to keep an eye on Lance,” Hunk joked. Keith’s head snapped up and glared at Hunk.

“Lance is coming?” He asked calmly.

“Yeah, why?” Pidge answered slowly

“Is Nyma coming with him?”

“Maybe I don't know. Why?”

“Never mind, I think I’ll just hang out in the dorm for the night,” Keith said simply, Pidge rolled her eyes.

“You two need to get over whatever it is you’re fighting about. The tension between you two is worse now because now it’s anger,” Pidge complained. Keith looked down at his hands and refused to look up.

“I’m not talking to him because he’s an idiot and I’m not going to that party,” he finished.

“No, you are cause I’m making you. You’ve been spending too much time in that dorm room and you need one night out. You don’t have to talk to him, just come with us or I swear to god, Keith,” Pidge ordered.

“Alright, fine but only because you actually do scare me sometimes. Alright, I’m going on a walk, I’ll see you guys tonight,” Keith said standing up.

“We’ll be outside the dorms, like last time,” Pidge told him, he nodded back and walked out of the cafeteria.

A few hours later, he walked back to the front of the dorms and found the group waiting. Lance stood off to the side when he walked up and looked at anything but Keith, which made him roll his eyes. They might not be talking but even Keith could acknowledge his existence.

Shiro noticed and gave Keith a look as if to warn him.

“Let’s get this party started!” Pidge yelled excitedly, throwing their hands up. “Same place, in the forest, everybody let’s go,”

Hunk and Pidge started forward together, leading the group. Shiro and Keith moved in together and Lance brought up the rear. Keith noticed how he was uncharacteristically quiet, he wanted to ask why but he also really didn’t want to talk to him.

“Hey, so I was thinking today about how you mentioned not getting enough sleep,” Shiro started nudging Keith.

“Yeah, I think it’s just stress and overworking,” Keith answered smirking a little.

“Yeah that’s what I was thinking but I’m almost wondering if it’s because of what you told me, about like moving around a lot. I think you’re body isn’t use to being in the same place for long, you know,”

“What do you suggest I do to make that stop because I’m so tired and just want to sleep,”

“My only suggestion is see someone, maybe you just need to talk to someone about everything. But that’s just my suggestion, you don’t have to follow it,” Shiro held his hands up in defense.

Keith nodded smiling slightly.

“Note taken. Thank you,” he answered.

They reached the forest edge and they could hear people laughing and talking. Soon they broke through the trees and bushes and were greeted by a fire and alcohol. Keith didn’t know who had handed him one but he took it and started quickly. He looked over his shoulder at Lance, who avoided his eyes.

“Alright, no keg stands, you hear me? That goes for you too, Lance. Keith, did you hear me?” Shiro asked strictly. Keith nodded and pushed him lightly.

“Yes, I heard. Don’t be a buzzkill,” Keith joked back.

“I’d rather be a buzzkill and have not you die of alcohol poisoning,”

“We could still die of alcohol poisoning, you know?” Lance chimed in making Keith smile lightly.

“But it wouldn’t be as quick. Besides, feeling like you’re dying is always part of the fun,” Pidge joked before walking off to meet with a kid off to the side. Hunk and Lance walked away to get more drinks.

It felt like they’d been here for hours and Keith could only remember drinking a lot. He sat on a log next to Shiro and Hunk. This had to have been the first time him and Hunk had had an actual conversation. They were in the middle of talking about computers and what Hunk wanted to be when Shiro grabbed Keith’s arm.

“What?” Keith asked, he sounded a little tired to his own ears.

“Lotor, he’s been looking a little too long. When did he even get in here?” Shiro said, his hand didn’t loosen from Keith’s arm.

“Shiro, I’m sure it’s fine. He just likes to watch people maybe. Maybe he’s still angry about when I hit him. It could be anything or nothing. Not something to worry about probably,” Keith assured him but Shiro still didn’t look too happy about it. “Look, Shiro, I’m going to go get one more drink, then I’m going back to the dorm anyway. It’ll be fine,”

“I don’t want you going alone,” Shiro said but Keith waved it away and stood up. He went to refill his glass and when he got back Lance was at the table next to Shiro.

Keith started talking to Hunk again while he finished his drink.

“When I was little I wanted to be an engineer and then when I got older I started learning about computers more. I still want to be an engineer though,” Hunk said.

“I think you’d be great. Like you’re super smart. You could engineer computers if you wanted,” Keith stated, that last drink pushed him over the edge of sober to buzzed.

“Thanks, Keith. I’ll think about it. What about you? Do you still not know what you want to do?” Hunk asked

“I’m not sure mainly because when I was little I never had an interest in anything and there wasn’t really anyone around to help me find an interest. I would like to do something with space maybe. I can’t be an astronaut because I don’t like tight spaces,” Keith answered.

“I don’t like aggressive movement so I couldn’t do that either,” Hunk nodded and when he saw Keith’s confused expression he clarified, “I have motion sickness, so anytime I’m in a vehicle or anything that has abrupt or jerky movement, I get sick. It’s bad,”

“But don’t you fly?”

“Yeah, but I’ve gotten used to that, but a spaceship would kill me,” Hunk joked.

“You should find a way to fix ships from the ground then, since you can’t go up. Like everything is done by computers or something,” Keith’s voice became dead serious and Hunk tried not to laugh.

“Yeah, that would be cool but the possibility of that happening is kind of low. Technology isn’t that advanced yet,” 

Keith looked down at the ground, his expression seemed pained and angry, Hunk was about to ask what was wrong when he snapped his head up.

“I want another drink,” He stated before standing up.

“I thought you were going to go back to the dorm after this one?” Shiro asked looking over.

Keith just shook his head before answering.

“After this one,” he said before walking away. Shiro watched closely as Keith stopped to talk to someone. Lance noticed and bumped Shiro’s shoulder, getting his attention.

“Why are you watching him? Worried he’ll hurt himself?” he asked half jokingly but his smile faded when he saw Shiro’s face. It looked worried and Lance realized that was what Shiro was worried about.

“I just don’t want him to make a stupid mistake,” Shiro said finally.

Lance nodded once and looked over to see Keith walking towards them. He stumbled slightly over a branch but corrected himself quickly.

Lance noticed that he always had a gracefulness about him. Even when he stumbled it was like nothing about him moved. His feet never missed a beat and body didn’t jerk, his head was still held high. Everything about him seemed to be perfect all the time.

“I thought you said you were getting one? You have two glasses in your hands,” Shiro pointed out.

Keith made a face and drank from one of the glasses.

“I was really thirsty,” he sputtered when he was done.

“You need to calm down,”

“Last one, I promise, Shiro and then I’m going to the dorm to study and sleep. I swear on my mother’s life,” Keith burst into laughter after he said that but Shiro stayed unamused.

Keith sat back down, finished the rest of the first then started on the second.

“Hey, Hunk, how are you and that one girl doing? She seemed nice,” Keith asked suddenly, catching Hunk off guard.

“Shay? We’re doing good? Have you ever met?” Hunk asked raising his eyebrows.

“I don’t think so but she sounds nice at least,” Keith answered sincerely making Hunk laugh a little. “You deserve someone nice, Hunk. You’re a good guy. I wish you were gay sometimes but then we wouldn’t be able to have more people like you. Plus, I like Lance anyway but he has a girlfriend and I need to just not deal with him anymore but sometimes I wonder,”

Hunk looked over at him confused then up at Lance who was talking to Shiro.

“Keith, Lance doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Hunk said slowly.

“Yes, he does, he said he was back with that one girl. The prissy bitch one,”

“I can’t fight you on that description but no they aren’t dating again. He told her to leave and she got pissed and like freaked out on him. Started saying that maybe their relationship would be better if he wasn’t into guys and blamed him for it all because he kissed you and stayed friends with you afterwards. But honestly she has no room to talk but whatever I guess. Anyway, no after your two talked he told her to just f-off and she hasn’t yet but she’ll get bored soon,” Hunk explained and even though he was drunk, Keith had a moment of clarity.

He listened to him. Lance took his advice and left her for good. Keith didn’t know if it was because he got so mad or if it was because he mentioned he might like him. Either way, Keith felt suddenly really horrible for ignoring Lance for so long. Lance hadn’t said anything to him about it and Keith thought maybe it was because Lance thought he was still pissed. Keith was but it was because he thought Lance went through with getting back with Nyma.

“Why didn’t he tell me that? He just let me be angry,” Keith muttered not expecting Hunk to answer.

“He thought it was better that you just work through your anger. He really thought you hated him because he didn’t know that you liked him. He didn’t want to make things worse,” Hunk went on.

“Thanks for telling me. I think, I’m going to go back to the dorm. I’m getting a little tired now,”

“Alright, be careful, Shiro seemed really worried,” 

“Yeah, he’s always like that though,” Keith said standing up, Hunk just shrugged and smiled.

Keith turned to Shiro and Lance and walked forward a little. The ground was spinning.

“I’m going back to the dorms, I’m tired and I think I drank too much,” Keith said before trying to walk off but Shiro stopped him.

“You’re not going alone,” he said protectively.

“Shiro, you do know that up until four months ago, I was alone and forced to protect myself. I’ll be fine,” Keith tried but Shiro shook his head and crossed his arms.

“You’re not going alone. You’re drunk and it’s late. I’m coming with you,” he said going to stand up.

“What about Pidge and Hunk? Are you going to protect them too,” Keith asked getting slightly angry.

“They’ll be fine, I’m worried about you,”

“I’m going to be fine,”

“No, I’m coming with you,”

“What if I went instead?” Lance said suddenly, cutting off Keith’s angry reply. Shiro considered it for a minute before sitting back down.

“Fine, only because I think it would be better time for you two to bond and start talking again,” Shiro said finally. Keith rolled his eyes and walked away. Lance followed a little bit behind and stayed quiet. When they finally got out into the open, Lance moved up next to Keith.

They were quiet for a few minutes but Keith's almost drunk brain speak against his better judgement.

“Can you speak Spanish? Or like Latin or something? What are you?” Keith asked. It sounded wrong to his ears but he didn’t care.

“I’m Cuban and yes I speak Spanish and not Latin. No one speaks Latin,” Lance answered and Keith giggled.

“I thought you were like Mexican or something. But Cuba never occurred to me. Very tropical,” Keith muttered and Lance chuckled.

“Can I ask what exactly you are? Sorry, that sounded bad but like really,”

“I’m part Korean and part whatever. Maybe more Korean, maybe something else. I’m not sure, I never found out. But my mom is Korean but she left before she could tell me anything else. Hell, she didn’t even wait for me to even be able to cry,” Keith said angrily. He pulled a can of beer out of his jacket and popped it open.

“Whoa, where did that even come from?” Lance asked looking at the beer. Keith shrugged and took a drink.

“I snagged it when Shiro wasn’t watching. He wouldn’t have let me have it. Something about going over the edge,”

Lance just shook his head.

“Why’d you let me hate you?” Keith asked suddenly catching Lance off guard. Lance turned to him surprised and hesitated to answer so Keith went on. “Hunk told me everything. So why’d you do it, why’d you let me hate you for the past like two weeks or so and you never said anything?”

“I figured I’d pissed you off enough already that if you completely hated me, maybe you’d forget the first reason you hated me and eventually you’d be over both reasons,” Lance answered after a few minutes of silence. Keith looked down confused then over at Lance, who looked so calm as they walked.

“I didn’t hate you. Lance, it’s the opposite and I think you’re an idiot,”

Lance shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

Keith looked down at the sidewalk and stayed quiet. If Lance wasn't going to talk then neither was he. They could walk in silence if Lance wanted to. Keith wasn't going to make him talk and honestly, Keith kind of didn't want to because he didn't want to say something wrong.

Soon they stood outside Keith's dorm room. Lance waited while Keith fidgeted with the keys. His eyes kept crossing and unfocusing and it was hard for him to concentrate but he eventually got it.

“Want to come inside or are you going to go to bed?” Keith asked looking over at Lance. Lance smiled and followed Keith in.

“You know, I don't go to sleep this early. It's only 12,” Lance said glancing down at him phone screen.

“It's only midnight? Why did I have to come back to the dorm so early?” Keith asked taking off his jacket and throwing it over his chair.

“Because Shiro was getting worried. At one point, you were drinking out of two cups at the same time,”

Keith looked down wide eyed but then relaxed and sat down on his bed. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He can't recall something's but that might not be all the alcohol. He's always had a horrible memory, it only remembers small random things here and there.

“You okay, Keith?” Lance asked. He looked up at him, his eyes had a look in them that Keith couldn't place.

“Yeah I'm fine,” Keith said quietly. “Maybe I should go to bed, I'm getting a headache already,”

Keith chuckled and Lance moved closer.

“Do you need anything for that? Maybe water or some medicine?”

Keith was surprised but he pointed at the mini fridge him and Shiro had bought a month ago together because they got tired of going to the vending machines.

“Water is in there and my meds are in the top drawer of my desk,” Keith muttered and Lance rushed over to get them.

He came back with the bottle already opened and two pills in his hand. He put it in front of Keith and sat down across from him on Shiro’s bed.

Keith thanked him and took a big swig of water. The water alone helped but he was hoping the medicine would keep him from getting a migraine in the morning.

“So why did Shiro make me walk you to the dorms?” Lance asked curiously.

“He’s getting a little too protective lately. I don't know,”

Lance nodded and opened his mouth to ask something but stopped himself. Keith raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He asked taking another drink.

“You said to Shiro that up until four months ago you were forced to take care of yourself. And then on the walk here you mentioned how your mom didn't really stick around. What do you mean?” Lance asked. Keith could pick up the cautiousness, like he was worried Keith would lash out at the question.

He was actually trying to find a convincing lie but decided he might as well just tell the truth.

“My parents left me when I was little. Left me at the hospital when I was a baby and then I was put into foster care and moved from house to house. I didn't have many friends and spent most of my time alone,” Keith said. He didn't meet Lance’s eyes but decided to look out the window at a street lamp.

“That sounds awful, I'm sorry,” Lance said softly.

“It's fine, I mean I'm over it now. And I'm here so things are pretty good,” Keith joked slightly.

“You've never met your dad either?”

“Nope, I've never met anyone from my family. They've never wanted to meet me so. It's obvious I was unwanted and probably unexpected,” Keith said shrugging.

He doesn't normally like to say the last part because he feels like it sounds pathetic but he doesn't care right now.

“But when I was little I would look out the window and wonder if they missed me or wanted to know who I'd become. I used to have dreams that they came and told me they'd made a mistake and that they wanted me. But everyday no one came. At one point I just gave up on the hope that one of them would come and decided I was better off by myself,”

Keith could see Lance’s face out of the corner of his eye, he looked like he was trying to think of something to say but couldn’t find the right words.

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, neither of them really knowing what to say.

“Lance,” Keith said suddenly and so loudly it kind of scared Lance. Keith looked over at him slowly, his eyes looked like he wasn’t fully awake. “I think I love you”

Lance stared at Keith in silence, he wasn’t sure if it was drunk Keith saying that or if that was what sober Keith always wanted to say.

“I love you too, man,” Lance answered back but Keith shook his head, his eyes becoming more unfocused.

“It's not the same. I'm in love with you but you don't know and I think I want to kiss you again. I do all the time,” Keith said. “Will you kiss me?”

Lance stood up and walked towards Keith, pushing him so he'll lay down in his bed.

“No, not now. Next time I kiss you I want you to be able to remember it all. But I do think it's time for you go to sleep,”

“I don't want to sleep,” Keith muttered, “I don't like the dreams,”

“I know but you're tired and you'll feel better in the morning,”

Lance pulled a blanket over Keith as he got under the sheets. He settled Keith in as he muttered that he didn't want to but it was useless because while he protested his eyes closed. When Lance turned to leave he felt Keith grab his arm.

“Please stay,” Keith muttered quietly. Lance obliged and let Keith pull him into bed with him.

Lance got under the sheets and let Keith get close. After a few minutes both boys were asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading, I'm happy I decided to post this and would love to hear from you guys. I normally try to reply to comments but you can also message me through my tumblr communist-wookie13. Thanks again for reading, I'll try to update as quick as I can.


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